Extended Family
by Bob The Mercenary
Summary: Family one of the greatest joys in life... well to some people. To put it bluntly Ranma's family treats him like dirt, but what if there was someone to whom Ranma could turn. This being Ranma however the person he turns to leads a life as unreal as his.
1. Chapter 1

Extended Family

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing none of the characters in the story belong to me but if I did this world would be a better place… well for me anyway

Authors Notes Part 1: Hello this is my first fic so please show some mercy but I'd like all the input I can get on the story so please review.

Leaving Home and Parting Gifts

Ranma sat on a rock in the woods. As he looked around he remembered this place from his fight with Ryouga when he, Ryouga, first learned the breaking point. The crater filled landscape was perfect for finding solitude. It was far enough always from Nermia for him to be alone, but close enough for him to run back without anyone really noticing he was gone for long periods of time. Plus even if someone came out here there were enough holes, caves, and other places to hide, from Ryouga blowing things up, for no one to find him.

After the Phoenix Mountain Battle, life had gone to hell for Ranma. He had declared his love for Akane, he still thought that was caused by either to many shoots to the head, a brilliant strategy to completely throw every one there off guard including himself, or the Amazons had drugged him during the wedding and the potion was starting to take affect, but anyway after that his other fiancés had begun to try even harder to get him. Their new tactics involved twice the potions, glomps , and other things that got him into trouble, beaten, or otherwise not happy at all. The worst was Akane though she started to act like she owned him giving him orders and trying to change him into her perfect "mate". That was what he though at least until him went into here room one day to get her for dinner and discovered a few interesting items. Like a collar which he would have assumed was P-Chan's if it wasn't for two tiny details one it was to big and the other was that it had a name tag on it that said "Ranma property of Akane" on it. To top it all off were a few magazines and books like "How to Bend Men to Your Will", "Being a Mistress for Dummies", and a few other books but the thing that scared him the most was a few magazines called "THE BOND". The covers plus the few whips, chains, and other instruments of torture he found were enough to make him run out of the room trying not to scream in abject terror.

The others of the NWC, The Nermia Wrecking Crew, were just as bad as his fiancés. Mouse, Kuno, and Ryouga were now attacking in groups and his other rivals, like Taro, seemed to show up at the worst possible moments in these fights. He thought it was all just his bad luck; well until he saw Mouse and Kuno talking and decided to follow them. If nothing else he wanted to watch the blind lead the idiotic around a bit. What he discovered was one of the most screwed up things he had ever seen. Inside a warehouse he found all of his enemies, rivals, and every other male that every caused him trouble on a regular basis. He was starting to think it couldn't have got any weirder when Kuno stood up on a platform and declared the meeting of the Crusaders Against Ranma, C.A.R, had begun.

He though these people were weird before and that he just had bad luck or was cursed. However it turned out that his enemies had organized and were out to get him for stealing "their" women, he was in the way or something, they just wanted him to suffer, or they had nothing to do in there life and were bored. Ranma though that was the worst of it but the idiots seemed to worship blunt objects like mallets and the other objects that the local female martial artist used.

Now he was just pain creped out every time he saw one of them. Somehow Kuno had found and organized the group to fight the Evil Sorcerer. He still wondered how the hell anyone joined a group where Kuno was the leader. The Fathers were at an all time low they seem to think that because of what he said at Phoenix Mountain that he had already agreed to be married and would ambush him at least once a day. It got to the point that the priest was on speed dial and had his own room at the house. His mother was worst of the lot though. She loved honor more than her family, which he might have understood sense that was all she had for so long, but when she ignored everyone else honor but demanded his to be prefect and was ready to kill him for that. That and her ideas were really starting to creep him out and were against his believes but she still demanded he follow them. He might have done it all for her if she showed him a little love but all he got was more demands and death threats. Nabiki and Kasumi were almost as bad in there own ways. Nabiki apparently believed like Akane and though that Akane owned him and that gave HER the right to order him around to she had started to treat him like a slave and if he tried to resist she'd call Akane and say that he was doing something perverted and he would be malleted, no questions asked no quarter given. The mallet ride usually led to a parade around Nermia with Ranma in front and everybody chasing him. Kasumi was just torture to be around now. Her bright and cheerful smile while she stitched him up telling him that Akane was a sweet girl and that everything would be alright. He was starting to think that she got her jollies on seeing him suffer because he finally notice that almost every time he was in trouble she was around watching with the cheerful smile of Satan on her face. Not seeming to care about him but worried about everyone else. She did bandage him up after but that was usually with a lecture nowadays with how HE should be more careful and not fight innocents and in short everything was his fault.

That was what it came down to almost every single person in Nermia now seemed to think that it was ok for them to blame him for all their problems and shortcomings. Hell they didn't even seem to care that he could nuke the damn place if he wanted to. He had gotten a lot stronger after his battle with the demi-god but he could not actually go all out on his rivals and other assorted people he wanted to beat to a bloodily pulp because he did not want to deal with the backlash. Everyone one saw him as a hero, a honorable person, or a nice/good guy and if he did something out of THIER view of him they would crack down on him and force him to return to there normal never his. They would make him seem evil and wrong and he did not want to deal with that.

Ranma felt like there were two of him the one that every on saw and subjugated and the true him. That was mainly impart to the letters he had in his hands and the ones he had received all his life. The letter was from his Aunt the only real family that he felt he had in the world. The relation was in terms of blood very distant but that didn't matter to him or to his Aunt. She was a foreigner, the relation went back to when trade from the west was brought to Japan. It was a classical romance the foreign man falls in love with a local girl and against all odds come together. The man was the brother of the grandfather of his Aunt so they were very distant relations but to Ranma that didn't matter she was the only one to listen to him and give him a choice he had ever met. He could honestly say that he loved her.

He was lucky that he even knew that she existed let alone keeps in contact with and find acceptance in her. Ranma sometimes thought that she was his guardian angel sent to watch him and was blessed at least in one aspect of his life. She had lost her family at an early age and went looking in her family records to see if see had any family left and she had found a distance relation in Japan. His Aunt had come to Japan and contacted her family she had discovered his mother and father and a baby Ranma. After the first visit she made one every year. His parents resented her but could not turn away family or at least to his mother that was the answer he had no idea about his father. He growing up grew to love his Aunt. He'd lost contact with her for the first year of his training trip but a letter found its way to him and he responded with the help of the postmen telling every thing about his life and feelings. That was how he grew up the only real place of comfort he had was his Aunt. You may wonder why he did mail his mother well that was very simple Genma told him not to but he said nothing about his Aunt.

While reading his newest letter Ranma pulled out a cigarette from the small box next to him and smiled. When his Aunt had received letters form him that were almost unreadable from his hands shaking so badly she had started to send his cigarettes to calm him. At first Ranma was shocked and though he would never use them. That lasted till that night when he had had a 50 mile race around Nermia with him being the prize and being beaten on by the entire NWC. Ranma went up to his roof and stared at the case of cigarettes for about a minute before he broke the seal and pulled one out. It was a brown hand wrapped cigarette and looked like I cost a lot of money. He lit it with a spark of ki and took a puff. He stated coughing but after about the 5 draw he had settled down and decided his Aunt was the best person on earth for giving them to him (Side note Ranma may smoke but he only dose it for three reasons, stress, to make a dramatic entrance, and nervousness).

If the people of Nermia ever discovered he true Ranma they would be in for the shock of there lives. The real Ranma had a lot of similar characteristics that the Nermia brand Ranma had. He was honorable to the point off obsession, kind, caring, loved martial arts, and was a basically a nice guy… that's where the similarities ended. The real Ranma had no problems with killing if he was protecting something, Phoenix Mountain demonstrated that quiet clearly, and was not afraid to hit girls. His Aunt had stressed this points when she wrote to him and after asking various dojo masters who agreed, Ranma took those views to heart, well when not around Genma. The real Ranma was also different in that he loved to read and learn… that was one thing Ranma always wondered about with the NWC they saw him master techniques that take years in a matter of hours or days and yet they somehow thought that he was an idiot, ignorant maybe but stupid how did they ever buy that. No matter the situation he found a way out and yet he was thought of as a mindless jock, he would never understand how they missed the one flaw in his mask. The true Ranma also had no trouble speaking his mind and speaking to the fairer sex (for you uncultured readers out there, women) but after being mosleted almost daily he was starting to develop problems. The most major difference however was the core of the Nermia Ranma's personality his pride was greatly lessen in his true self. Oh he still though a lot of himself but he knew when to retreat, how to ask for help, and he accepted that there were people out there who were better than him at things. On that note Ranma also had no problems using weapon even modern ones. Actually Ranma was fascinated by firearms and realized how useful they could be but he also did not rely on them, they were a useful tool. His Aunt had been the one to get him interested in firearms. Once in a while Ranma would sneak out to the police station and the officers would let him practice with his guns.

To explain after expressing an interest in firearms his Aunt would send him manuals and artificial guns to "play" with but after settling in Nermia she had actually somehow got him permission to have firearms and practice at the Nermia police station, which the police had on problem with because Ranma keep crime in the area next to zero and saved lives to they let him practice and kept it secret. Thanks to Mouse's hidden weapons technique no one ever found his guns, ammo, and permits. He sometimes wondered about the bullets seeming to be silver but he always just thought they were painted to look cool. Why in the hell would he need silver bullets? (hehehehe if you haven't guessed where this going by now you need help).

Ranma after reminiscing about his life finally got to reading the his letter…

Dear Ranma

I hope that this letter finds you in good health. First I would like to wish you a happy 18th birthday. – Ranma smiled sadly she was the only one to remember it, no one else cared that yesterday was his 18th birthday - Now that you are a legal adult I would like to give you a present that I have been waiting to give you seen you started that blasted training trip. Ranma inside the box there is a ticket to London you will also find a passport for both your male and female forms. – Ranma smirks he remembered that it actually took him video taping the change to get her to accept it and after she got the tape the next letter was mainly comprised of death threats to Genma and reassurance for him, from that point on his Aunt believed whatever he wrote in his letters wholeheartedly - I know that I will see you soon if nothing else a short visit to see each other in person for a time, but you are welcome to stay with me. Also included in the box is a good sum of English currency make use of it on your way to my estate. The ticket is for tomorrow afternoon I can't wait to see you.

Love,

Your Aunt.

Ranma looked down at the short letter in his hands and smile an alone tear of pure joy slide down his face and onto the letter. He was going to England he was going to see his Aunt, Integra Wingates Hellsing.

Ranma sprang up and started to dance for joy he was finally getting out of this hell hole that was called Nermia. Suddenly and thought struck him he got and evil smirk on his face, 'It would be rude to leave suddenly and not give them something to remember me by' ,Oh another dereference between the Ranmas was that the true one knew how to hold a grudge and was not above revenge. Its amazing how years of abuse can give a person a nice vengeance streak. Luckily no one was around or they would have run always in terror at the evil laugh that echoed around the area.

After returning to Nermia in the dead of night Ranma began his quest. First stop, after picking up various prank necessities, was the Cat Café and to the amazons store of magical knickknacks 'Lets see how everyone else likes to be on the receiving end of this shit'. It was around midnight that Ranma struck. He used the Shooting Star Defense Advanced (Ranma fixed the original by using the Soul of Ice to lower his body temperature so no one could feel his aura, a small amount of ki on the soles feet to not make a sound and not leave a trace of passing, and a small amount of ki around him to stop the air around him to stop it from moving and stopping his scent.) to get to all of the magical goodies. 'Lets see what we got' though Ranma, he had "liberated" basically some amount of every spice, potion, or other drug that the amazons ever used on him, some packets of instant Jusenkyo with various springs, some water proof soap, the reversal gem, some formula 411, and a potion of truth. Amazingly the amazons labeled all there magic gear. He had no idea what some of the other stuff did even with the names labeled on them and with his luck with magic he had NO intention of messing with them and some of it just sounded very messy and just really screwed up.

Ranma went up to the living quarters of the Café and hit the sleep point on all of the people there; next he gave everyone some truth potion. Then he found Mousse robes and put some stink bombs, super glue, and various other implements that make sure that the next time he tried to fight he would be ruined. Next Ranma heated and bent all of Mousse's glass lens so that he couldn't see no matter what. Shampoo was next, he got a permeate marker and wrote bimbo on her forehead and then colored her head ten different colors using permeate ink and used formula 411 to make her forget about her curse. Last was the old ghoul, first he shaved her bald, cut her walking sticks so that they would break when she next got on it, and finally got some instant spring of drown man and used it on her. Then Ranma used the water prove soap to make the affect of the water stick for a while. Last the cats tough pressure point, after he was done he suddenly noticed that she look like Happi now that she was bald and male 'ooooo this was perfect'.

Next on his hit list was the Kunos. Again sleep points and truth potion all around. First was the brother he put the reversal gem on his back using super glue. Next was the sister first he turned off her voice box using a pressure point so no one would be subject to that laugh for some time at least and then some instant spring of drowned man and more water proof soap. Last was the father of the insane family. He cut off his palm tree, shaved him bald, 'Lets see how he likes it' though Ranma, and scribbled insults all over his head and hung him upside down over Mr. Turtle's pond.

Next was Ukyou and then the usual by now sleep point and truth potion set up. He no matter how much he wanted to couldn't do any long lasting to his first friend but that didn't stop him from getting some revenge. First he wrote betrayer on her forehead, he bent or weakened all of her spatulas so that when she next used them they would break, put glue on her flour bombs, put fake temperature knobs on all of her ovens and stove, and put stink bombs with time fuses throughout the restaurant. 'These pranks might be childish but they will give back some of the pain and chaos they brought to my life' though Ranma ' and no matter how much I want to hurt them the chaos and in fighting this stuff will cause will cover for me went I leave tomorrow… plus it will be fun to watch'. On his way to the next target he stopped by that evil ladle lady's house and destroyed her ladle and smashed her bucket and wrote a message on her wall that is she ever washed her walk again he would come back here and shove her ladle down her throat and a few other messages with the same sentiment.

Last on his mission of mischief was the Tendo Dojo. To start was the usual treatment. Then he visited the kitchen. He took all of Kasumi's spices, oils, and other cooking ingredients and mixed them with the spices and potions he got form the amazons 'Meal times at the Tendo's will now be even more interesting hehe'. Then he moved on to the old pervert. He burned all of his silkily darlings and replaced them with Soun's and Genma's dirty under garments and filled his pipe with their shredder underwear. Then as a final blow he made him as weak as a baby, with a pressure point like the one Happi used on Ranma, and covered his bombs in glue. Next was the panda and Nodoka. He took Nodoka's blade and ground it down to the size and sharpens of a butter knife. For Genma he locked his jaw close, used about ten different instant spring packets on him, some water proof soap, colored his fur different colors, and the cat's tough pressure point. Soun was up to bat next he got a Mohawk, his mustache now had all the colors of the rainbow, and burned the damned shoji board. The daughters were next. First was Kasumi…. 'What the hell am I going to do to her I mean I not happy with her but its Kasumi for gods sake… o the hell with it' he walked up to her and wrote clueless on her forehead. Next was Nabiki 'Now we're talking I have no problem with this… now what to do to her, so many choices so little time'. To start bitch was written on her forehead, next he got out the mushroom that makes people obey a command and gave her some "Now whenever some one says Nabiki you will tell and embarrassing secret about yourself" (note I think this would work because it is a subconscious thing and the person effected cant stop them self form carrying out the command so it should work in her sleep), he put a virus he got for the computer club in her computer, took some reveling pictures of her which he would later spread around in school, destroyed all of the pictures of him, or her depending on the photo, and covered all her cloths in itching powder. Last on the grand tour of not niceness was Akane, also know as the Evil Bitch of Satan which he promptly wrote on her forehead. 'Oh and look P-Chan had returned to her, perfect. The pig first mmmm what to do?' He first got out some of the various torture implements for the room changed him back to male hung him up over the bed, put a ball gag in his mouth, wrote bastard on his forehead and I'm P-Chan on his chest, covered him in itching powder, hit the same pressure point he used on Happi, and burned his backpack and all his stuff. 'Now for Akane, hmmm turning her male is such a obvious choice lets try something more creative hmmm I wonder…' he took the last packet of spring of drowned man and mixed a small potion of it and poured a even smaller amount on her crotch and chest… 'Well it worked lets see whose perverted now Akane the she male MWHAHA'. Again water proof soap, cut the top off of one of her mallets and put it in her bed, gave her a buzz cut, and hit a passion point on her body.

Ranma undid the sleep point on Kasumi and went to sit on the roof with the Shooting Star Defense Advanced still in effect. 'Kasumi should be making breakfast now with her new ingredients and by the time she is done the sleep points should be wearing off. Ahhh what a beautiful sun rise'. We pan out to a shoot over looking Nermia and all seems right with the world well until we hear some explosions and screams echoing all over Nermia. 'Show time'

End CH 1

Authors Notes- I finally wrote this thing I've had the idea forever but could never actually sit down and write it. Anyway this chapter is to set the history, if you see any major holes please inform me so I can fix them, of the fic and the real stuff starts on the next chapter which I hope to be competed by Monday. Anyway if the Ranma and Intergra are to OCC well it is because they have a caring relative to help them well that and it helps the story line but is I do get to out of control with the OCCness please tell me. O.K power scales… well Ranma has some new move which I will start to show next chapter but over in a straight out fight Alucard can kick Ranma's ass but Alucard would not walk away form the fight unharmed Ranma would do some major damage to him. Anyway C&C needed please review flames will be used to light the cigarettes of Ranma and Integra and help enhance the fic if they are any good.


	2. Chapter 2

Extended Family CH 2

Declaimer: I own none of the characters in this fic except in my warped and twisted mind but that dose not stand up well in court.

'Ranma's thoughts'

Panda signs

"Speech"

Mornings are for New Beginnings and Revenge

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"DIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE YOUUUUUUU PEEEEEEEEERVERTTTTTTTTTT"

"IEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

Those and many other screams were heard through out Nermia. 'I wonder how fast the idiots will get here' thought Ranma as he went into the living room and jumped up into one of the corners of the room near the door. 'Hmmm its 7:00 AM and my flight leaves at 5:00 PM I guess I can only watch the fun for five hours, damn airport lines'. It only took the NWC an amazing five minutes to converge on the Tendo Dojo. A new record.

They gathered around the table like a war council… well more like a freak show meeting. There they were. Shampoo, Soun, and Genma, (who had the head of a mouse, beak of a toucan, body of a panda, tail of a squirrel, antlers of a deer, eyes of a snake, hands of a gorilla, legs of a flamingo, and was female to top it all off) looked like skittle commercials gone horribly wrong. Two Happis both sitting on the ground, one gagging and chugging Listerine (when he first got to the table he tried to smoke his pipe) and look very weak at the moment, the other giving off an aura like Akane when she is very very pissed. Nodoka was sitting there trying not to laugh at everyone 'She must not have checked her sword yet' thought Ranma. There was no sign of Ryouga 'Damn I was hoping to get to see pig boy sufferer oh well he going to be naked with no supplies, cover in S&M gear and itching powder, and had his sense of direction well I guess that is a good punishment, but I still wanted to see it' though the pig tailed protagonist (for those of you who don't know what that means it means the good guy in this case… ok maybe not 'good' guy right at this moment so main character). Ukyou sat there looking a hurt about the message on her head but still was very pissed about her restaurant was uninhabitable for a unknown amount of due to the place smelling like something Akane cooked. The Tendo Daughters were the funniest site however. Akane was somewhere in between the tremendous rage, embarrassment about her new equipment, and blind lust looking at Shampoo, Ukyou, and Mouse in that order. It was fun to watch her squirm. Nabiki could have frozen a bonfire with the look she was giving the table and occasionally scratching in a very unlady like way. Kasumi was living up to what was written on her forehead and bring in tea for everyone and preparing extra food for all of the guests

'I wonder what kind of spice I put in the tea I never bothered to check the labels on the spices I put everywhere oh well more fun because it is a surprise' though Ranma.

Mouse had wondered out into the back yard attacking random objects saying they were Ranma, he was doing more damage to himself than the yard thanks to Ranma's modifications to his arsenal of weapons, the best part was that the idiot had yet to stop and think about how stink bombs, glue, joy buzzers set on kill, and various other self destructive items were in his robes. One of the Happis cleared his through and got everyone's attention. The meeting of the mindless was about to start.

Just as Ranma was thinking about the possibility of multiple magic spices/potions on the human body the door to the living room slammed open. There stood Kuno in all of his "glory" decked out in full samurai battle gear and carrying a new sword.

"Hold foul villains I have come to aid my noble ally and fellow samurai Soatome in his never ending battle on the foul witch Akane, who tries to poison the world with her vile concoctions of the underworld, and her evil minions." Cue the thunder and dramatic (stupefied) silence. "Prepare to die foul creature" so saying Kuno jumps at Akane form across the room his sword held high.

Akane sat there looking at the oncoming Kuno the look on her face was priceless somewhere between astonishment, fear, rage, lust, and just plain surprise. Just before Kuno could do the first worthwhile thing in his life by driving his sword through the head of Akane, Cologne shot a ki blast off at him knocking him into the wall.

"I see the foul witch has now summoned demon monkeys to fight for her but I fight on" shouted the by now dazed Kuno. Kuno stood up took a dramatic pose and then fell to the ground his body smoking.

"What the hell is going on here" asked a confused Ukyou.

Kasumi was handing her some tea and responded "Oh aliens are probably coming to take over the earth and have taken over Kuno but don't worry the magic fairies will stop them with there mighty powers over nature". Everyone was suddenly staring at Kasumi with wide eyed looks of surprise 'o.k that is weird I wonder if she always thinks like that and the truth potion was making her tell the "truth" about how she really sees the world or she sampled all the dishes she is cooking and the potions are making her higher than a hippie at Woodstock' though Ranma for his hiding place.

"O.K that is interesting and kind of creepy" Ukyou turns to face Nabiki "Nabiki do you have any idea of what happened"

"No… I masturbate at least once a day" More silence was heard in the house of Tendo the only sound were Mouse's shouts at inanimate objects and his cries of pain in the following seconds.

"What did Mercenary Girl just say?" asked Shampoo.

"That a girl can I watch next time?" asked Happi after doing a spit take with his Listerine. Ukyou had taken too many shocks to form a response to that statement and set there. Akane was now staring at her sister drooling a little then falling back into rage the drooling again it was a vicious cycle that lead her thinking process form sex to violence sex to violence it was amusing to watch.

Kasumi was bringing in snacks "You know I once made a clay snake when I was little… the hardest part is getting the feet on" said Kasumi 'O.k maybe it is the potions' though Ranma. Cologne was sitting there drinking the tea that Kasumi had brought out. 'mmmm considering that most of the potions and spices that I took had love/lust as the affect, wait oh god, a 300 year old Amazon trapped in a males body chasing men around what have I done… MWHAHAHA this is prefect' It took all of Ranma self control to not burst out into evil laughter. Nodoka and Genma both shouted "Nabiki!!!!" in a horrified tone o.k Genma held up a sign with a lot of exclamation points. Soun started crying saying that his little girl was turning into a women.

"My deepest fantasy is to hmm mm…" at this point Nabiki had the good sense to cover her mouth. Soun's water works were soaking the room and got onto Shampoo cue a freaked out cat in Technicolor at this point neko Shampoo freaked and after a few seconds of standing there shocked sprang for the ground toward her grandmother but due to her "new" body and being unfamiliar with it she hit Nabiki and knocked her hand for her mouth. "… then I lick all the whipped cream form his body and then he punishes me for being naughty."

Soun was now crying saying that his little girl was so much like her mother. That drew some more stares. Cologne was about to whack Happi on the head for staring at Nabiki and asking her about how she masturbated when she suddenly had little hearts in her eyes 'mmmmmmm I wonder if it is a lust or a love potion' then she suddenly sported a lecherous grin that looked truly frightening on Happi. Kasumi was bringing in snacks so no one saw Cologne slink over to Happi a whisper something in his ear. However they did her his shouts of terror and saw him try to run only to be taken down by Cologne and was being dragged up to his room. 'o.k Happi is down for the count and will probably be scared of women for the rest of his life and mentally scared. Cologne will be severely punished for doing "that" with a criminal like Happi and the fact that a "smart ass" like myself escaping her'.

Everyone was staring in horror has they watched a lust crazed Cologne dragged a weaken Happi up the stairs and to his doom/room. Ukyou could not take any more and fainted into the plate of snacks that Kasumi had put in front of her…. she started to twitch and occasionally scream while she slept 'wow even the smell of those potions can do some weird stuff'. Genma, while everyone was distracted, started to grab other people snacks and eat at high speed. 'Dose eating magically tainted food really fast affect the effect of the magic?' Apparently it did because as Genma was stealing Soun's snacks he stopped looked up saw Soun and tackled him and was trying to rip his cloths off. 'ahhhh it burns but it burns in the flames of vengeance. Oh this is rich they have been wanting to unit the school for so long and now they are… now that is just sick and wrong'.

"Husband what are you doing" shouted a shocked Nodoka. When Genma didn't stop she drew her "sword".

"Oh Auntie what a nice family butter knife you have now you can truly butter toast with honor in the morning. What a great way to start the day" said Kasumi. Nabiki was to busy hurling in the corner to notice and Shampoo was starting at the staircase in silent horror. Nodoka was staring at her family's honor butter knife and then collapsed woodenly onto the floor. Akane was staring at horrific fascination at the scene in front of her.

'Let's see I think that I got all of them hmmm now what' as Ranma was thinking this Kuno had recovered and was preparing to attack.

"Now you summon abominations of nature to perform wicked rituals to your dark lord I will not stand for this." Kuno was still shaken so when he struck his attack missed and knocked a cup of tea onto Akane and his sword was now stuck in the table 'oh boy that passion point plus that potion in the tea it is over for Akane's chastity… wait can she even have chastity right now… no I don't want to even go into that that will only led to a very bad place'. Due to Akane's lowered resistance form the passion point she was doomed the moment she turned to look at the attack and saw Kuno. 'Joy. Kuno is getting his fondest wish to be with Akane, only now finally realizes that she is a demon instead of a goddess and Akane gets to have the memory or raping Kuno. Two birds with one stone and I grant a wish in the process dose it get any better.'

Nabiki was backed into a corner staring at the scenes in front of her with horror and at the same time scratching all over but she could look away form the evil acts that were taking place in front of her. Shampoo had fainted after going upstairs to "save" her grandmother. Kasumi was walking around asking if anyone need anything 'Very creepy' and then walked over to Nabiki and said

"Now stop that Nabiki scratching like that is not very lady like. What would mother say?"

Nabiki just stared and then said "I wet my bed until I was 13"

"I know Nabiki and I'm very proud of you" this continued for a while and pushed Nabiki's sanity to the brink talking about her deepest secrets in a room while her father and sister were "occupied". Outside it sounded like Mouse had attacked a transformer and was currently experiencing what it felt like to be a bug that had run into a bug zapper, got back up, and did it again just to show the zapper who was boss. 'I think that my work here is done but time for finishing touches'.

Getting out was not difficult though he did have to step over the blacked and burned Mouse. After dropping off the photos of Nabiki at the school Ranma called his buddies at the police station about some illegal immigrants at the Tendo Dojo, a cat that needed a good home but it was highly sensitive to hot water, the Legendary Panty Thief , a runaway genetic experiment that needed taken to a secure lab for testing, the local loan shark Nabiki was ready to plea guilty to all her crimes all you needed to do was ask, and a few people who were going to need some serious counseling or a nice trip to a padded cell.

This being Nermia and coming form Ranma the cops called in some reinforcements, animal control, and the new Nermia mental hospital, this was the prefect place to study almost every known metal disease known to man and even some that hadn't been discover yet. Why just this morning they discover a man who though he was a women chasing two other men in dresses around the ward waving large signs about becoming a true man with there help. They were tranquilized and taken back to the preserve for further study, the new director of the hospital used to be a star on the Wild Planet Channel, something about crocodiles, he was the only person who would take the job saying something about going into the most dangerous environment he ever been to.

'That should do it mmmm my current wardrobe is not right for Britain at all and stands out to much.' Before going to the airport he walked around to a local mall and picked up some jeans, a few t-shirts, a light jacket, and some self heating thermos. He also let his pig-tail down into a pony-tail. He was ready to go he could pick up the rest of the essentials in London with the money his Aunt had given him. Life was good. Has he began his trip to the airport a thought struck him 'I wonder what happened to Ryouga'?

In a temple in some unknown place Ryouga was hanging hog tied in reinforced steel chains wishing he was dead. After landing he had wondered onto this temple and hoped that they could help him find the Tendo Dojo and some clothes. After getting the nuns attention with this really weird knocker, it was a ball gag, these really nice nuns had taken him in and gave him some really good food and afterwards he felt like taking nap. When he woke up he had been hung up and had started screaming for help. Then he had learned the horrible truth. He had found the lost temple of the S&M and his arrival had, to them, been a sign of the gods and he was to be there greatest challenge. They had started with the usual of whips and such he had laughed at them they started to try other means again he laughed. The nuns had left for a while and come and he knew that he was doomed they now matched the magazines that he had seen in Akane's room but they carried metal whips, boiling oil, and steel wool instead of the whips, candles, and feathers the people in the magazine carried. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" was heard all over Japan for a moment and all men shuddered hearing it and new that one of there own was doomed. Ryouga would eventual escape but he could never look at a woman again without shivering.

For some reason Ranma felt that justice was served by a very vengeful judge and started to whistling a happy tune on his way to the air port.

Authors Notes- wow, I never though that I would such a response for these fic thanks a lot it has really got me into writing this fic. The feed back has been a great help. Pre-reader need it anyone interested? I know that my grammar sucks but I usually write in random busts and I am usually more concerned in getting the idea down rather then spelling but I will work on it. Oh well next time Ranma has fun messing with airport security and finally gets to London. Happy Halloween. Next Update by Friday.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer bah bah I own only my own warped imagination that came up with this twisted story.

'Ranma's thoughts'

(Authors rants/explanation)

Friendly Skies are the Most Annoying

Ranma had been feeling good as he walked to the airport he had time to spare and thought that it would be nice to walk through Nerima for one last time. He had a nice walk relived some of the better memories, the walk was kind of short due to lack of places to visit. He got to the airport six hours before his flight, he was proud of that he was almost never early so these was quite an achieve for him, he planned to get on the plane early and catch up on some of the sleep that he missed last night. Little did Ranma know the true horror of the airport and its security.

It started the moment that he entered the place. There were people everywhere and all of them had the feeling of people who wanted to strangle someone for something. 'I feel comfortable here for some reason, like I'm really used to being here and have been here a million times. I wonder why?' Ranma was now dressed in a pair of loose black colored blue jeans, a blue t-shirt that had the words "Let me drop everything I'm doing and work on _your_ problems" 'For some reason this shirt seems oddly appropriate' , some new running shoes and a black wind breaker. His ponytail was a problem at first, he got it caught in the automatic door at the clothing shop, but it was working out nicely. With a pack he bought at the mall, it was mainly for show it would look kind of odd if walked onto a flight to London with nothing but the clothes on his back. He walked up to the airport terminal to ask directions to his flight. It all went down hill from there.

"Excuse me sir but can you direct me to flight 648 to London gate 76?" asked Ranma.

"Well I could but then I would have to take time out of making sure that the airport is running properly and make hundreds of people wait while I answer your oh so important question" answered the clerk that was currently playing game-boy.

'Asshole' "O.K I'm sure that reaching level seven is important and all but could you please direct me to where my flight is" said Ranma.

"Fine, but for your information its level 78 so respect my L33T skill or I will summon my hordes of ninjas and their mad skill will destroy you". (Now for Ranma the odds of this guy having hordes of ninjas with mad skills were kind of high so, well to Ranma's mind anyway, so don't let this response throw you off)

"Fine I respect your L33T skills for reaching level 77, so now that we have established that can you please tell me where my flight is?" asked Ranma.

The clerk stared at Ranma with wide eyes "You respect my L33T skill and believe about my horde of ninjas with mad skills."

"Yes o.k. can you please help me find my flight"

"No one has truly ever respected my L33T skill or my ninjas"

"O.K fine can we get past the L33Tness and the ninjas and work on actually helping me find my flight sometime in the foreseeable future or not"

"Sure not problem"

"O.K which way is flight 648 to London and gate 76"

"It is somewhere in that direction" he waves at the rest of the airport "You can't miss it"

"Wait a minute you don't know where it is?"

"No, I work on the computers and was fixing this one" the clerk pointed to the consul in front of him. "I was on my video gaming break"

"Wait a minute you have a video game break"

"Yep it is under the L33Tness clause in my contract"

'This is just stupid I need to get out of here before something weird happens…. O.k. weirder than meeting this loon' "Thanks for the help bye"

"Anytime may the L33Tness be with you". After getting away for the clerk, before getting out of hearing range he heard him shout "HA FEAR ME YOU 2-D BITCHS NOTTHING CAN WITHSTAND MY L33TNESS MWHAHAHAHA FEAR MY NINJAS" at that point he saw a couple black clad figures hiding in a artificial bush, one of them waved at him, 'I knew that an idiot like that would have ninjas'.

Ranma wandered around the airport asking people if they knew where his flight was or asking directions to a guide. Most people gave him a smile and helped him but a few were just assholes who either went on about how irresponsible young people were, how he should have his act together, or told him in plain terms to Fuck Off. At one point, o.k. maybe 7 or 8 points but at one in particular, he had to go through security and he saw one of the guys that was especially insulting him and all his family, he didn't care about Nodoka or Genma but that included his Aunt and that was something you did not mess with. Seeing that the guy was going through a metal detector and decided to make the guy for talking about his Aunt like that (O.K people you all know how Ranma was about his mother in the series well take that and square it and you got how protective he is about his Aunt he is). Using the Way of the Sneaky Thief Ranma got up next to the metal detector and waited.

"All right sir, please remove all of your metal items and place them in this tray and then step through the metal detector." Said an attendant.

"Fine just hurry up and get this over with I have more important things to do than stand around a talk to you imbeciles" said the soon to be sorry man. BEEP.

"Sir please remove all of your metal items form your person."

"I did you idiot this machine is obviously broken"

"Fine we'll try another one". BEEP.

"Sir please removes all of your metal items," said the attendant again.

"Look you twit I did what do you want me to do strip down to my boxers". Evil smile form the attendant.

"Hey wait I am not stripping"

"Sir for the safety and piece of mind for all of the people on that plane we are going to have to make certain that you are not carrying anything that will endanger the plane". "I'm not going to strip".

"Fine then you are not going to get on that plane." After about five minutes of back and forth and a couple more BEEPS the man finally gave in.

"Alright sir please now step through the detector" The man now in heart covered boxers walked through the detector. BEEP.

The attendant now had a really creepy smile "Sir I'm afraid that you will need to be more thoroughly searched you are a security risk."

From somewhere in the back there was a snap. For some reason everyone who heard it pictured a large bald man putting on a latex glove and a smile on his face that said that he liked his job a little too much. At that point Ranma felt that justice had been served and it was time to get to his flight.

After continuing through security, delays, and just plain stupid people and questions he finally got to the last check point before his plane. 'This blows I have been in security for FIVE hours I was hoping to take a nap at the rate that this is going to be lucky to catch my flight.' As Ranma got closer to the check point he finally saw why the problem was that the security was being a jerk and a prev he was "frisking" every good looking women that came by a little to thoroughly and was taking a little too long in doing his job in certain places.

'Now this is just annoying and he should not be doing that to women' (Ranma may recognize women are not weak but he still has his knight in shining armor complex going on). When he finally got up to the front of the line he was tired of this guy and decided to do something. The guard in an arrogant voice that people with a little power get when they are felling full of themselves, said "Sir please open your coat".

Ranma nodded and facing away from the people behind him and the cameras, not an easy feat but when you can detect amount anything in a 20 foot radius it gets easier. Opening his coat the guard was speechless. On the inside of his coat were enough guns to take out a platoon of soldiers in full combat gear. The guard blinked and shouted "What the fuck" but after the blink all that was there was a small thermos.

"What it is a thermos with some special tea I need to drink for a condition I have" said Ranma in a voice that oozed innocence.

"What the fuck was that just now!" said the guard in almost a shout.

"Sir there are children present I'd appreciate if you don't do that" said Ranma

"Shut up, up against the wall"

"Oh have you gotten tried of felling up women and want to try men now" the women inline and the ones waiting for friends or family on the other side of the check point either smiled at Ranma or glared at the guard.

"BE QUITE" the guard started to frisk Ranma and found a gun in his pocket "AHHAA"

"Will you please stop trying to fondle me?"

"I know that you have a gun in there"

"What you don't have one and are jealous"

At that point another guard had shown up and saw what was happening. "O.K Bob (universal name for random dot people expect to see a lot of them) take it easy, you need to take a deep breath and calm down." Said guard number two.

"This guy has got a gun I know it"

"Bob do you really think that security missed a gun this is just a last check to confirm ids for the tickets and small stuff like knifes"

"I don't care that guy has got a guns a whole coat full of guns and explosives"

"Sir" said Ranma "Would you check so that we can move on and get on the plane"

"All right sir please open your coat and pull out your pockets" Ranma did it and all that was there was a thermos and a sunglasses case.

"May I go now," asked Ranma?

"Yes sir sorry of the delay and the misunderstanding"

As Ranma walked away he saw Bob being led away by another guard and being given funny looks by the people around him. After five and a half hours in security and various other delays he finally boarded the plane. 'ALRIGHT nap time' (Its Ranma, sleep in an art form to him and one of life's greatest joys: like eating). After sitting down and all most nodding off.

"Excuse me sir would you like a drink or something to eat?" asked a perky stewardess 'ARRRRGG' "No thank you miss". After another five minutes and just about falling asleep

"Who you like a pillow sir?" asked the super perky stewardess

'God damn it' "No thank you" said Ranma. This time ten minutes, he wait her out he knew just as he was about to nod off so he waited, finally he was sure that she was gone he finally began to doze off.

"Sir can I have your attention" asked the stewardess from hell.

'Someone is going to die' "YES what is it"

"We are going through emergency protocols we need you to pay attention" said the stewardess.

After ten minutes of the same old airline safety protocols and Ranma adding comments in his head like 'I'll use you as a floatation device', 'Come on like I would never think of that by myself', 'If this plane crash manages to kill me, when a demi-god could not, then the rest of you are screwed', and 'Stewardesses go down with the plane right'. Finally the plane way ready for take off and the captain and co-pilot made there preflight announcements. "Hello this is your captain speaking today we are making a flight from, goddamn it where did I put that map, oh here it is form a Tok-y-o to Lon-d-on and the flight should take anywhere form 16-20 hours and I will make it my mission to get you there as fast as possible with as little safety as it takes. Wait the other way around. Oh well. Here we go. Oh wait here is my co-pilot" "Ah goo goo me am co-pilot" "oh did I mention that he is trying some new drugs for a company but don't worry they say that he is still capable to fly."

'Oh god'

----

Authors Notes: ARRGG sorry for the delay in the update but my weekend was busy. Friday my internet connection decided to take a holiday I worked for ten hours Sat. then crashed at a friend place and saw the Incredibles, good movie, and my internet was still fucked up Sun. I know that they are excuses so sorry once again. I would like to thank all of my reviewers you guys really are an inspiration for me to get off my ass and write this thing. So in short thanks and keep those reviews coming. I'm taking votes to see if anyone wants me to do an interlude about what happens at the Dojo when the police, zoologists, and men for the "special" hospital arrive. Oh a hint for future chapters is crossovers lots of crossovers.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own… takes inventory… some stuff but the characters in this fic to not seem to be there so I just that I don't own them, _yet_

'Ranma's thoughts'

(Authors rants and explanations)

A New Home… That's Full of Weird People

Ranma walked out of the gate form his flight promising him self that the next time he meets any of the stewardesses on that plane or the so called "pilots" there would be hell to pay. Those stewardesses make sexual advances at him the ENTIRE flight all 16 hours of it. 'The worst part is that I think that they were doing it just to torture me and because I wasn't effected at first'. After a year of beautiful women trying to bed him Ranma had gotten some control on his reactions to naked women. But after he had naked women trying to rape him for a year he had some issues with random women tiring to bed him or at least make advances 'It was getting to the point that I was reacting to them the same way I was with a c..c.c…cc damn it one of those furry devils'.

'They made so many references to carrots and cucumbers that I don't think that I will ever eat one again… damn I loved carrots. Oh and what was with them saying "wow we must be a mile high up here… do you want to join the club" WHAT CLUB we are a mile up big deal' (Ranma may be more worldly and all but he is still a little ignorant about some things... o.k. maybe a lot of things). 'Then there were the pilots… I don't even thing that I should call them that. I mean they actually asked the passengers directions on how to make the wheels work and if anyone knew the general direction of London. They even left the intercom the whole flight and the stewardesses would not let us tell them and said that they couldn't either because no one was allowed in the cock pit; they make another refinance arrghh, due to a new policy. So we got to listen to how one of them had boils on his ass and how the other was kept putting in really confidence making commits like "I bet I could hit that barn with the plane", "Is it possible to fly a jet upside down and land", or he mentioned the interesting things that he saw like pink hippos and little green men that were unscrewing the nuts and blots of the air plane and saying "Wow I wonder what would happen if I poured water on them". At one point they started to sing 99 bottles of beer on the wall and sung the whole god damn song'

It was dark around 9:00 PM 'Wow time zones at work' and was walking around the airport looking for a phone to call his Aunt to tell her that he was here. All the phones were taken and there was line on each. 'sigh, this will take to long I can probably find a phone in the city and I've always wanted to make a phone call in one of those little orange phone booths'. It was a clear night a little foggy but it is London you expected fog. Ranma picked up his bag and hailed a cab, for a bout five minutes before actually getting one, and had the cab driver take him through London towards the address in the letter he got from his Aunt.

"So what dose a kid like you want to go to that place for," asked the cab driver.

"I'm going to visit my Aunt" replied Ranma

"What you have a relative in that part of town" the driver gave him a look that said 'what do I look like to you an idiot'.

"Right she and I have been in touch for years but this is the first time I could come to visit her in years," Answered Ranme tensely.

"Yeah right kid don't fuck with me do you even have enough money to pay for the cab fair"

"Yes I do and I'd appreciate if you didn't say anything like that again and do your job"

"Look you foreign punk respect your elders and even if you are related to the Hellsing family you are related to a cold hearted bitch who thinks that she is soooo superior to the rest of the world hahahaha"

Now Ranma had just gotten off a plane ride that pushed even his tolerance and now some random cab driver started to call him a liar and insulted his Aunt… to put it in mild terms he was PISSED. The cab driver suddenly noticed that the temperature in the cab had dropped about 30 degrees and he had that felling you get when you know in your very soul that you are screwed and that you are the one that caused it. He slowly turned his head and wished to god that he was someplace else. Sitting in the back was Ranma in his modified demon head technique, Soun's was good and all but it took to much space and was not very real so the fear did not stay after the technique was over Ranma fixed those problems. Ranma's eyes were a complete ice blue, his skin was chalk white, steam came out his mouth with every breath, and he had his aura out and was like blue flame around him and said in no uncertain terms that anyone who had pissed him off was dead. He looked like a death knight that was on steroids.

"….." the cab driver was in a frozen state of terror

"PULL OVER" Ranma did not shout but his voice just seemed to resonate all around

"…." The cab driver turned around, pulled over, and just kept staring out the windshield which was beginning to frost over.

Ranma turned off his death knight mode got his bag, paid the cabbie, and walked out into then square that then cab had dropped him off in. He may have been pissed but he would be damned before he was like Genma. Ranma looked around and saw a phone booth and walked towards it. As he walked he heard someone get into the cab he left "Damn it man turn on the heat". Along the way across the square Ranma saw a priest talking to a woman dressed in a… unique outfit coughcoughslutycough and was curious why a priest would talk to someone like that. The priest turned to him, he had blond hair, he was about 6 ft tall, was dressed in a gray trench coat, and wearing a large silver cross around his neck. "Hello my son" (Now Ranma had just had broken all ties with his family and he hated his father with a passion add to that the fact that he had next to no knowledge of the Catholic religion, expect from some really pushy missionaries, you begin to understand his reaction)

"Push off old man I anit your son"

"I see that you are an unbeliever in the true faith but you will see the light when the divine judgment is upon you in the end"

'Oh god there is a Kuno even here' (Come on Alexander sounds like Kuno in a lesser degree at times)

"Look wack job I'm going to walk away now and you stay here"

(Now some of you readers may have noticed that Ranma has not changed once sense the beginning of this fic well it was waiting for the perfect moment 3, 2, 1…)

SPLASH an old rusting rain gutter finally gave out

Now standing in Ranma's place and a wet and nervous Ranma-chan 'Pleaseohpleaseohplease not another Kuno not another Kuno…' the priest stood there for a second and then all hell broke loose.

"DIE FOUL DEMON"

'Wow he got it backwards dose that mean that he is gay like those priest that were on the news a awhile back… oh god no'

At that point the priest, Ranma still did not know his name, got a pair of rather large knifes out of his sleeves and charged. Ranma instantly went into his combat mode an analyzed his attacker and did not liked what he saw. Here was a trained killer someone who would not hesitate a second to kill him and would enjoy it. Sure all of his enemies said that were going to kill him but this man was really trying to do it. Add to that the guy had a fuckin HUGE ki reserve coming close to even his, but still a good way off but even coming close said something about this guy. The priest swung a both swords in an overhead swing trying to go for the quick kill hoping to catch him off guard. Seeing the swords closer, about an inch from his face as he dodged, he saw that each of the swords had a faint blue glow, 'FUCK I hate magical swords'. The priest backed off a bit and studied Ranma and his reaction.

"Well you abomination of God, I Paladin Alexander of the sacred organization of Iscariot, will see you strait to hell"

'Oh god he is just like Kuno. He thinks that he is a Paladin'

Alexander suddenly thrust out his arms and thousands of sheets of paper came out of his sleeves and were pined to the walls of the ally but small knifes. 'If this guy doesn't know hidden weapons then he has the ultimate trench coat'. "Now none of your foul black magic will work here" shouted Alexander. 'Dose this guy have the same writer as Kuno, this is really starting to get creepy'. "Prepare to face me now demon!" shouted Alexander.

'O.K I do not have time for this, plus we are in a crowded area so I need to end this fast. But the way this is turning out this could take some time if I don't use some of my more powerful techniques or guns…. Wait I have it. I'll use the instant spring water but what to use hmmm women, no to cliché, cat, been done, mouse, no I don't what him to die oh wait maybe one of those personality altering springs. Prevent… no he may be insane but I really think he is a priest… damn what to use…' evil smile (which in Alexander's mind just proved even more that he was a demon) 'spring of drowned atheist' (MWHAHAHA).

Alexander charged again faster than before and went into a fury of swings trying to impale Ranma on his swords. After a about the fifth swing of the sword Ranma sprang up and pulled out a thermos of water and a packet of instant spring water and dumped it on the priest. As Ranma landed he saw the priest standing there looking at the ground. Ranma pulled out another thermo of hot water and changed back into a male. The priest turns to look at Ranma and stares for a second "What was I thinking attacking you like that you could not have been a women just now, here I will not be needing these" Alexander hands Ranma his swords and his cross and begins to walk off.

Ranma looked down at the swords and the cross then looked at the retreating form of the "Paladin" 'That is just wrong that I did that I better "fix" him… but at a safe distance'. He stored the swords 'Never know when you can use some magic swords and they are a lot safer in my hands than that wacko'. Then he took out another thermo, the priests cross wrote something on the cross, a water balloon, and filled the balloon.

The priest was about 100 feet away when Ranma threw the balloon and the cross a few seconds later. The balloon hit Alexander in the head and broke. Alexander spun around and had the fires of vengeance and holy fury in his eyes. At that point the cross going about 30 miles an hour hit him smacked right between his eyes. When he had recovered his senses he looked around and didn't see the pig tailed demon he would have given chase but he had a mission to complete… and why were some people laughing at him. Pane out and we can see the word "IDIOT" written in English on his forehead.

Ranma was making his get away pondering the similarities of that situation and the first time that he meet Kuno. He was also worried about the fact that he was in this new country for not even a day and he had already, more than likely, made a mortal enemy. It was not like he wanted to fight the guy but he knew form experience that you could not talk to people like that guy. After wandering around for a while he noticed a phone booth 'Oh wait there is a telephone booth I can call Aunt Integra and tell her I'm coming'.

The phone booth was across the street from a hospital. As he walked towards the booth he noticed that there were police cars all around the hospital. 'I wonder what is going on'. Just as he though this he heard gun shoots ring out form the hospital and saw a military truck pull up to and a squad of soldier charge into the hospital. 'What ever is going on it must be big'. Ranma reached out his senses to see of he could detect what was going on and was speechless at what he "saw". 'Looks like I'm going to have to meet Aunt Integra after I take care of this'.

Authors Notes- Cliff hanger MWHAHAHA. Well another chapter down sorry again for the late update my only excuse this time is laziness and watching too much anime. Oh well your reviews are great guys thanks a lot. Oh I still need a prereader if anyone is interested in the job. I have finally decided my update schedule I how that I will be able to update my fic on either Sunday or Monday of each week. Well in the next chapter Ranma meets the Hellsing family.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I OWN YOUR SOUL but sadly not the characters in this fic they belong to the evil minds that came up with them.

'Ranma's thoughts'- if not otherwise said

"Speech"

/telepathy/

(Authors rants and explanations (excuse))

Welcome to the Family... Try Not to Stare

Ranma quickly saw that he could not get in through the front door so he ran around to the back of the hospital and hopped the wall and looked around. He saw a few people in those hospital dresses around the yard and then they saw him.

"Look its Santa Clause" shouted one of them.

"NO it's the Tooth Fairy"

"That can't be the Tooth Fairy is a great big monster in America"

"No that is Big Foot that is the Boogey Man I recognize him form under my bed"

"No it's that chewpathingy form Mexico that eats goats"…. The many residents of the yard began a long and messed up argument Ranma saw a sign labeled the metal ward. 'What is it with me and always ending up in a mental ward of some kind, first the Amazon village, Nerima, that airport and now this place what is up with this.' Seeing that the residents were busying debating who he was and or what species he was he headed for the door.

Once inside the hospital Ranma headed for the morgue, that was the center of whatever it was he felt. The walls of the hospital were the normal shining white that seems to be in every hospital, with titled floors, and a door to a room every couple of feet on each side of the hall. 'What the hell is this feeling its like ki but anti… wait that stupid anti-ki, anti life force that can't be everything is living even the demons I have fought had some ki or some weird form of it but never like this.' Ranma turned a corner and came face to face with a ghoul, and no not Cologne, dressed in a nurse outfit. "ZOMBIE" shouted Ranma, now you can fight demons, gods, insane martial artist, Amazons, and any other assortment strange things but there is always something unnerving about fighting the first undead no matter who you are. There is no way to tell how a person will react will they cower in fear or run away…. "DIE ZOMBIE" saying this Ranma punches the ghoul in the head splitting it like a melon… when said person is a supercharged martial artist who is attacked by strange creatures on a sometimes daily basis his reaction is understandable.

"O.k. undead, dose kind of explain what the hell anti-ki is. Now let's thinks this through from what I know of undead. Zombies don't just pop up on there own there is some sort of greater power or creature guiding them... Great now I have to deal with a greater power or creature… and I have lost the power of internal monologue" said Ranma. Muttering to himself Ranma began to go down the corridor.

After about 200 feet down the corridor Ranma ran into a group of ghouls going down the corridor going into rooms, he guessed that they were looking for victims to eat. Ranma sat there frozen as a ghoul ate on the remains of a nurse he could not take his eyes off the scene. It scared him more than any other thing that he had ever seen before. He just stared at the blood on the floor draining form the body, it was one thing to kill a zombie but it was quite another to see the lifeless corpse of an innocent women being torn apart by a ghoul.

As Ranma was standing there some of the ghouls began to move towards Ranma. Time seemed to slow to Ranma the ghouls were moving towards him but that didn't matter he stared at the corpse as the ghoul tossed it aside and came at him like the rest. Something snapped in Ranma it was like the Neko-ken but he was in control he felt himself going into the Soul of Ice and activating his Demon Head technique. He couldn't be human when he fought something like this if he was he would loss himself to the horror which he had just witnessed. If the ghouls had minds they would have been at the very least surprised if not terrified to see the human that they were about to kill start to glow, his skin become chalk white, the walls start the frost form cold, and his eyes become solid blue. "DIE".

Ranma's mind was like a machine has he attack the ghouls, cold and effective. Blood was splattered across the walls as he attacked the ghouls. He knew what he was doing, he knew that he was killing, and blood was running but deep in the grip of the Soul of Ice combined with his Demon Head technique plus his true views on killing it didn't matter. These things had killed innocent people and were in a sense innocent people themselves, they had not asked to be turned into ghouls but had been forced, and he would put them to rest. It didn't matter now though there was no right or wrong right now there was only us and them, but there was no us only him. Ranma attacked each of his hand were glowing a eerie blue and what ever he punched if it was not destroyed in the first punch then it was shattered with the next hit after the first hit had frozen it.

After finishing off then last of the ghouls/zombies Ranma looked around at the carnage red ice all across the floor and the bodies of the ghouls. He looked at the body of the nurse, she was laying there covered in frost and head had been knocked off by one of the ghouls frozen body hitting her. Ranma was glad that he was able to cope with what he had done, if the Nerima Ranma had done what he had just done he would be on the floor crying his mind shattered or on a killing spree but he knew that he had to do what he had done. If he had not stopped the ghouls then the entire hospital would have ended up like that poor nurse. He then realized that the creature he had just fought were mere puppets of something else. 'What ever is responsible for this is going to die a painful and horrible death' Ranma though has he stared at the frozen bodies and blood.

Ranma began to walk down the corridor sense on full alert for any more ghouls. They were easy to detect. He ran into a few more which he shot or cut apart on site, he could not bring himself to touch the ones he saw they were patients or at least were they had not even stood a chance; some of the ghouls were even children. Ranma walked down the corridor frozen blood on his shirt and pants a smoking modified desert eagle in one hand and in the other a blood covered katana. His head was down and his ponytail had come loose during the fight his hair hung down over his eyes. Steam came from his breath had the air around him has he walked down the corridor cooled has he walked.

Ranma suddenly stopped 'O.k. Ranma get a hold of your self this is bad but it would be very bad for us to sink to far into the Soul of Ice. It's nice to have emotion remember that.' Ranma stood there and shuddered and seem to come back into himself. 'Now take a deep breath this is bad but I don't need to let it control me. Now put this behind you for now and move on'. Ranma put away his gun and sword and began to move at a faster pace down the corridor. He soon heard gun shoots from down the corridor it sound like there were two sets of fire so Ranma assumed that there was fighting and entered the Shooting Star Defense.

Ranma walked into the next hallway and saw a guy in a bed sheet shooting guns in the air and screaming the name Mick. Looking at the guy Ranma could see that he was full of anti-ki, 'I'm going to have to think of a better name', and hostile. 'That guy has to be the creator of those monstrosities'. Down the hall he saw a girl, 'More anti-ki but she seems to be with the human so I guess see is a good guy for now… plus she is hot… what the hell not the time to think about at a time like this', with a really big gun ,'O.k. no problem of ignoring her looks now', and a male military officer and that priest Alexander from earlier coming up behind them. 'Not good'. Before Ranma could react Alexander threw one of his swords at the male officer and the women. The guy went down and the women screamed "Commander". Ranma froze 'What the hell I though that guy was a priest I mean I knew he was nuts but even Kuno would not have killed those two for trying to stop that monster plus I though priest did not kill good guys'.

Alexander was walking towards the monster and was saying something that sounded eerily similar to Kuno's rants about divine justice and him being better than them and him being on a holy mission. Just before Alexander got there a pale guy in a red trench coat and red wide brim hat with orange tinned glasses and white undershirt with a red vest. 'WHAT THE FUCK THAT GUYS ARUA IS HUGH and anti… fuck'. The red guy thrust his hand through the chest of the toga guy and said guy turned to dust. 'Crap there is only one type of undead I know of that turns to dust when you kill it and that is a vampire'. Alexander did his paper trick again, 'That guy is the cause of the deforestation of the world'. The priest seemed to be doing quite well, 'Oh the swords are not magic they are blessed ohhh', until the red guy shoot him in the head. That looked like the end of it until Ranma saw the ki in Alexander move around and then he got back up.

'What the hell is that. It looks like an advanced regeneration technique hmmm that could be useful no more worrying about bullets that I can't doge but testing it is going to be painful'. Alexander then stuck three blades into the red guy as he was turned around but he just smiled at Alexander. 'O.k. this battle could be awhile and I do not think getting involved would be good. This day sucks I was going to meet my Aunt and then this happens, the rate this is going the chances of me seeing her anytime soon would be for her to walk… in… here. I need to learn not to say shit like that'. Integra Hellsing walked into the hall and basically ordered everyone to stop, which they surprising did, and ordered the priest out and told the red guy, Alucard, to go back to base. 'Great my Aunt is the master of a Vampire why dose this not shock me more than it dose… wait I know she is related to me'.

Seeing that every one was leaving Ranma decided to follow his Aunt and see if he could talk to her. As he followed her he noticed that she carried herself with an air of command and power that was kind of creepy. 'Wow I have never seen this side of Aunty in all her letters she seemed to be a kind, understanding, and loving… well I guess to be in charge she has to present a certain front to people so maybe she was showing me in her letters the true her'. Just as he was finishing this thought his Aunt was reaching a car and an older gentleman (You can't describe Walter as anything else other than a gentleman) was waiting for her. The man turned to look at his Aunt and saw something "Miss Integra I believe that you are being followed". His Aunt spun around pulled a gun and pointed it in his direction and the older gentleman got into a combat stance. Ranma looked down and saw that some of the frozen blood from earlier was melting and giving away his position 'Oh crap'. Ranma came into view with is hand behind his head a nervous smile on his face and said "Hi I'm Ranma, sorry about this".

Authors Notes- Cliff hanger mwhahaha I just had to end it there even if this chapter is shorter I have to end it there. Sorry about the late update but was down on the days I plan to update on and I left for a family reunion on Tuesday. I got the privilege to go to Mississippi a land without internet or computers and people who would call an exorcist if they knew have the stuff I do like anime _gasp_, video game _noooo_, or writing fanfic like this _ahhhh _along with half the other shit I do like T.V and so on and guess want my grandmother is one those people wooo hooo. So as you can guess my holiday sucked ass and I was bored out of my mind. I just got back in today after a nine hour drive home, through rain and idiots on wheels, and am updating. Oh people I'd like to break 100 reviews in the next two chapters so review please. Some of you readers may have noticed that the gore level of the fic went up a couple hundred points well this is a Hellsing crossover not all sunshine and lollypops there will still be a healthy dose of humor but there will be more of a dark flavor to some of this fic.

Oh I would like to thank

Dark Topaz

Silverscale

Dogbertcarroll

Jerry Unipeg

BlazeStryker

Shinji the good sharer

Gopu

Jerry

For there reviews on at least three of my chapters THANK YOU ALL YOU GUYS ROCK

Oh if I missed anyone sorry as said above NINE HOUR DRIVE and it is 11 o'clock right now so forgive me ,mention in your review and I'll check it and post you in the next chapter.

Bob the Mercenary end transmission


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own… you know what screw it, I do own this story bitchs deal with it, first the story then the characters then finally the world MWAHAHAHAHAHA…but to be on the safe side so lawyer and there ninja hordes do not kill me in my sleep I don't own the characters in the story o.k… please take the knife away form my throat now Ms. Ninja

Authors Notes Part 1- Hello all, I would like to this time to address an interest point brought up in a review by Dogbertcarroll. O.k to start off with I never said that Ranma figure out they were good guys all I said was that he had no need to fight them. That however is probably not enough for you so here is a list of reason, one Ceres was with the military guys and Ranma saw them go in after he detected the ghouls and vampires in the building so he made the logical conclusion that they were there to stop the threat, protect the people, and at the time maybe round up a runway genetic experiment form an underground lab under the hospital (it could happen its Ranma after all). Next we have the state of Ceres at the time remember that in the anime see was extremely weak form lack of blood and could barely see strait, so we can put her out of the threat category for the moment. Next Alucard, I have a question for you how can you call him a good guy. He is bad ass and all but he dose not fit into the category in my opinion, he is on the good side but not a good guy in the sense of niceness, fair play, and the other things most people associate with good guys but that just makes him better in my opinion. O.k on to the question remember Ranma was hoping to kill the vampire that Alucard killed so Ranma's opinion was a little bias but beyond that Ranma could feel Alucard's aura and quite understandably did not want to fight him unless he had to plus at the time him and Alexander were going at it and you can guess what Alexander's reaction to Ranma would be at that point so Ranma saw fit not to get involved until he had to and study the two of them in case he had to fight one. A lesson that he learned form Nerima was to not get involved, unless he had to, in situation like that because they tend to blow up in your face. Oh and there was all the dialogue between the characters in the anime that I did not write in also, watch it, that alone is enough.

Next why did Ranma use the Demon Head well that one is a little more complicated. You know how I mentioned how Ranma improves the Demon Head well what I was waiting to explain in later chapters, I see now I should have explained it early sorry, was that he turned it into a kind of battle mode. It combines the Soul of Ice, his battle aura, and focusing his ki into his body all in one with the added bonus of him looking scary, which gives him the edge in battle by unnerving his opponent. Now you probably want an explanation of the reasoning behind this well o.k. here it is. One the Soul of Ice clears his head and cools his body so it functions more effetely and more ki can be spread throughout the body, next the whole solid blue eye thing is Ranma upping his perception to a very high degree kind of like sharingan form Natuto but without the instant copy ability, the VOCIE is due to all the ki in his body when he uses it and is also unnerving, last the battle aura is more concentrated and evenly spread because he focusing it into the flame effect. Now if Ranma had to concentrate on these three tasks at once and fight it would be less effective and spit his attention so he combined them all into one move so he only as to think about it. The move may be more complex but now his attention is only divided into two parts instead of four ways. Also the technique really works well with ice attacks and focusing them because the Soul of Ice and his battle aura were directly connected. Plus there was the psychological aspect of it Ranma had just seen a very horrific scene and as mention didn't want to feel human when he fought the ghouls and his appearance helped to detach himself form what he had seen. This is how I rationalize the technique and him using it. Please tell me what you think people I think it make sense but your input is helpful.

'Ranma's thoughts'

"Speech"

/telepathy/

Written

Family Reunions… put down the gun please

"Hi I'm Ranma, sorry about this"

Ranma was standing there in a slowly widening pool of blood as it melted form his cloths with his Aunt pointing a gun at his head, an older gentlemen 'Great wouldn't you know now that I look at him he has a fuckin huge aura why dose this not surprise me', there were vampires somewhere, and soldiers all over the place, 'and I don't know where that priest is'. He watched his Aunt to see her reaction to when he said his name hoping against hope that she believed him. There was a moment when her eyes softened but then they hardened even more and had a look of pure fury in them that he had never seen in someone before. "How dare you vile beast, using that shape to try and trick me," said his Aunt. Walter turned and gave a strange look at his Aunt and then stared back at Ranma again with a new interest.

Ranma saw Integra tense to pull the trigger (it is kind of hard to call her Aunt when she has a gun pointed at him) 'Why me' Integra pulled the trigger and Ranma dodged. Seeing him move Walter charged in an attacked with a knife strike hopping to catch Ranma off guard and finish this quickly. Just as the strike was about hit Ranma in the neck Ranma ducked and sprang back. 'How do I end up in these situations? O.k my Aunt thinks that I am some sort of a demon and is trying to shoot me and her body guard is trying to decapitate me…. Fuck. How can I convince Aunt Integra that I'm me… passport no could be forged, curse no if she thinks that I am a shape shifter and it did its homework it would know I do that, her letters to me no that to much time for her to read and there are soldiers all over the place, what then… oh I know' Ranma into his shirt and pulls out a gold chain 'The Hellsing family symbol she gave me when I was a child.'

Integra seeing the demon throw something at her she began to take aim at the object. Then she saw that it was a golden chain with… her family crest on the chain. Integra was shocked the only people who had her crest were the Queen, Walter, herself, and… Ranma. "Oh no". Hearing Integra Walter turned to her slightly to see what was the matter and really looked at the chain that the man threw and saw it was the Hellsing crest but that meant. "Oh no". Ranma saw that his Aunt recognized the crest. Integra looked up form where the crest landed and saw Ranma looking at her with a smile on his face and tears in his eyes.

Hearing the shoots the soldier form the surrounding area moved towards the disturbance thinking some ghouls had escaped the sweep of the area. What they saw was not something they expected. A guy in a torn and bloody outfit bouncing around like a pin-ball dodging bullets form Integra and strikes form Walter. Suddenly the soldiers snap out of there daze at seeing the spectral in front of them went the strange guy in the bloody outfit reached into his shirt and threw something at Lady Integra. Seeing the man land away form Lady Integra and Walter the soldiers took aim and opened fire on the enemy that was attacking their leader.

"Ran…"

"Aun…"

BLAMBLAMBLAMBLABLAMBLAMBLAMBLMBALAM

A hail of bullets tore through Ranma's unprotected body.

"RANMA"

Ranma's body fell to the earth a pool of his own blood pooling around him "Aun..ty"

The soldiers were once again shocked to see there leader the Ice Queen of London (pardon the pun) run to the downed vampire with tears in her eyes shouting. Then something struck the soldiers that vampire did not turn to dust and was bleeding… one though went through all the soldiers mind as one 'We fucked up' and then seconds later 'Integra is going to kill us'. Walter was startled as well seeing Integra in such a state. He knew of her nephew Ranma and that she had been in almost constant contact with him through letters for over ten years but it was a shock to see that boy here dying in front of him and Integra crying her eyes out over his body.

Silence spread over the yard except for the sound of Integra sobs as she stared at the body of her nephew. She knew that he was as good as dead from the number of bullets that had hit him. His head rested in her lap. "Ranma I'm sorry this should never have happened" said Integra looking down at the dieing body of Ranma, his eyes were closed and he was becoming paler and paler as the seconds ticked by. Suddenly a red clad figure stepped forms the shadows. Integra looked up and saw Alucard standing there with his usual insane smirk on his face. Integra looked back down to Ranma slowly dieing in her arms because of her, "Save him" Integra whispered. Walter was shocked that Integra would ever say that. Alucard was also shocked but it did not show on his face. Alucard looked down at the body of the boy seeing that his life energy was almost gone. Then he focused on the smell of he boy's blood and it faintly smelled of… Hellsing. It was almost none existent but it was there. This boy was related to his Master and that meant that he was the Hellsing heir by blood… this was perfect.

Time seemed to slow down as Integra moved back a bit and Alucard moved in to bite Ranma. The soldiers were standing there stunned as Alucard moved in. Walter was looking at Integra as if she had snapped. Integra was looking at the body of her nephew the only blood family she had left and the boy who she sometimes though of as her son. Even though she could not be there for him in person she person she felt that she had raised him, taught him, and cared for him as a mother would. She couldn't bring him here though because he would have been in danger, even more than being in the care of Genma, and when she finally brought him to her but now he was dieing next to her with his blood on her hands. It was one of her greatest fears and now it had come true.

--------Ranma's Mind-------

"What the hell just happen" said Ranma. Looking around he saw that he was on a dark plane with nothing but emptiness round him. "This place sure is bright and cheerful". Thinking back Ranma suddenly remembered meeting his Aunt and then the sound of gun shoots. "Damn the soldiers. So I'm either dead and his is limbo or a really low cost after life, I'm unconscious, or last I'm dieing and this is an out of body experience". Ranma then the though to check his body "I seem to be all here and whole". Ranma then checked his ki his reserves were bleeding out at and his own life force was almost nil. "I'm dieing check, so how am I going to fix this."

After going through his ki system again he was able to piece together his injuries. "Lets see 35 gun shoot wounds check, most of my vital organs were hit check, a ton of broken or shattered bones check, and I'm bleeding to death check. The only thing that is keeping me alive right now is the fact that my body is pumping most of my ki directly into me to keep me going. O.K I don't know any techniques to get out of this one. So I get to sit here and watch myself die it would have been better if they had just shoot me in the… head…". This being Ranma's mind when he got a brilliant idea a light bulb actually did appear above his head and click on. "O.K. that is odd but never mind if I can get the priest technique right then I might be able to get out of this." Ranma began to concentrate on his aura and tried to imitate what he saw the priest aura do when he was shoot. "Almost got it just a little more… GOT IT"

-------Back to "Reality"-----

Alucard was just about to bite into Ranma's neck when his eye suddenly popped open and he took in his situation. 'A vampire is about to bite me…'. Realizing his he reacted how any human would react in this situation. The people watching the scene were quite understandably shocked to suddenly see the boy that was bleeding to death and about to be bitten by Alucard suddenly roll away and pull a pair of desert eagles out of his coat and unload on Alucard. Then to their further disbelieve pull a pair of swords out of his coat and start swinging. (If you haven't guess yet the normal human response would be violence if they had the means and Ranma has the means to bring much violence). Alucard finally recover from the shock after the third stab to his head and tried to hit Ranma away, at that point the people reacted. The soldier repointed guns at Ranma, Walter pulled out his gloves, Alucard reformed form the black puddle that was him and pulled guns, and Integra shouted "STOP THIS AT ONCE".

Again the yard was silent as all heads turned to look at Integra. Slowly Integra began to walk towards Ranma. Ranma suddenly looked down at the swords in his hands and "Pocketed" them like he was a child caught with something he should play with. "Ranma you come with me the rest of you finish swiping the area and return to base," said Integra in the kind of voice you would have to be deaf not to obey. Integra started to walk to the car with Ranma following, Integra motioned Walter to come along and drive the car. Ranma for some reason had the undeniable compulsion to open the door for Integra even if at the moment he was wondering what the hell was going on. Once everyone was in the car Walter got in a drove off.

The soldiers were still standing there wondering what the hell just happen and if they were in trouble. Even the most veteran of them who before today have swore they had seen it all were going "What the he just happened". Alucard had a insane smirk on his face and if you wanted to hear his thoughts at the moment they sounded something on the lines of a child with a new toy, o.k. rephrase that a very sadistic child with a new toy plotting the number of ways that he could play with it without actually breaking it. Ceres chose that moment to walk out of the hospital. She looked around saw a bemused Alucard, shell shocked soldiers, puddles of blood, and Integra's car moving away in the distance, "Did I miss something?"

Back in the car Ranma is sweating bullets. "Ranma" said Integra.

"Yes Aunty" came the nervous reply.

"Never scare me like that again" Integra then proceeded to break down and cried on Ranma's shoulder.

"I'm sorry Aunty I didn't mean to do that" said Ranma "From now on I will try not to be shot." Looking at her with the most honest face she had ever seen.

Integra looked up at Ranma and couldn't help but giggle at the face he was makeing "I'm sure you will" with those words Integra seemed to get a hold of herself and looked at Ranma with a piercing gaze. "Now would you mind explaining to me what you were doing at the hospital?"

"UHHH" 'How do I end up in these situations…'. Ranma then began his tale on how he left Japan and came to the hospital, by the time he was done Integra was laughing her ass off, she really enjoyed the bit with Alexander. "Umm Aunty I have a question now what was the deal with all the soldiers, the vampire in red, and all the other stuff?" asked Ranma.

"Well Ranma you see the Hellsing family has had a mission and that mission is to protect the world form the forces of the undead and supernatural."

"O.K but what about the vampire that was taking order from you?" Asked Ranma.

"That Ranma, was Alucard he is a vampire that is in the service of the Hellsing House." "O.K so basically you are the head of a fairly large organization whose mission it is to protect mankind against the occult right." Stated Ranma as if it was the most common thing in the world.

"Yes Ranma that is the jest of it." Said Integra smiling at his reaction.

"O.K then as a self appointed expert on magic and such I suggest you carpet bomb a certain valley of springs in China."

"Maybe later Ranma but now I have to ask you something. Seeing as how you are now here and you now know the history of the Hellsing family I would like to adopt you as my son."

Ranma answer was quick and decisive. He preformed a modified Amazon Glomp on his Aunt and said "Yes! Thank you Aunty".

"Ranma you do understand the dangers and the responsibility of this decision."

"Yes I have to protect the weak and those who can not defend themselves."

"Yes Ranma I had a feeling that you would say something like that. That is another reason I'm asking you to join because I know that you would somehow get involved no matter what I do."

About that time the car pulled up to the Hellsing Manor. Walter came around and opened the door for them. "Ranma welcome to your new home." Said Integra.

Author's Notes Part 2- Whew it as been awhile hasn't it but I attributed that to a combination of factors/excuses, exams and before exam school stuff(such as about 10 essays and projects due the week before exams and I like most people I did all of them the night before they were due), a sudden bout of writers block, Holiday stuff, and just plain laziness of my part. I also fucked up seriously in my plan for writing this story I planed this for as a concept and not in details so I end up with most of my later chapters ready to be written but I still have to get there arrgh. Oh well but now I'm back and I plan to stick to my goal of an update once a week. Oh and one more thing I KNOW MY GOD DAMN GRAMMER SUCKS O.K STOP POINTING IT OUT I AM WRITING THIS STORY BECAUSE I WANT TO NOT TO APPASE YOU GRAMMER MONGERS, sorry but all this review I am getting telling me my grammar sucks and nothing about the concept of the story is really getting to me and if these people really want to help then sign to be my prereader I am still in need of one. Oh and to those of you who thought the pranks that Ranma pulled at the start of the fic were bad wait till Ranma and Alucard start going at it. Oh and if you think this chapter was a little short the chapter should start getting longer after this. I hope to have at least 90 reviews by the time I next update this story make it happen.

OMAKE OMAKE

Ranma eyes popped and saw a vampire was about to bite him and he reacts. The people watching the scene were quite understandably surprised to see the boy that Alucard was about to bite suddenly roll away, pull a large mallet out from somewhere, and shout "VAMPRE NO BAKA" proceeding to smack said vampire into Lower Earth Orbit. There was complete silence till the boy said "I always wanted to do that to someone". Facefaults and sweatdrops all around.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story they belong to there perspective creators. I couldn't come up with anything witty so sue me… wait NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

"Speech"

'Thought'

(Author Explanation)

Well Come to Your New Home Try not to Bleed on the Carpet

Ranma stared at the HUGE house that they had just pulled up to.

"This is your new home Ranma," said Integra smiling at him as they slowly walked into the manor.

Ranma was led through the manor by Integra and up to her office. Ranma could not help but stare at the furnishings of this place. Ancient furniture, expensive looking paintings, hell even suits of armor alone the wall. They finally reached a pair of large double doors and Walter opened them and they walked in, Ranma could not help noticing that the sound of the closing doors had a finality to them, little did he know that Walter had painstakingly spent hours fixing the hinges of the door to make the sound because it was expected by people (Big mansion, gothic look, home to a secret organization, there are certain standards that have to be meet other wise the Hellsing group would be a bunch of whacko with gun saving the world).

"Now Ranma, would you mind telling me how you managed to come back for the dead," asked Integra sitting behind her desk giving Ranma a long stare.

"Uhhhh well I watched Alucard fight that Paladin guy and saw him use it when Alucard shot him a couple of times. With the do or die thing I figured it was worth a shot," said Ranma nervously scratching the back of his head. "If you don't mind me asking but why did you wait to ask?"

"Because Ranma, we were more than likely being watch the whole time that we were at the hospital and on the way here," said Integra leaning back in her chair slowly.

"By who and why," asked Ranma suddenly looking around as if he was being watch at that very moment?

"Ranma, that man you saw is with an organization that are not on the best terms with the Hellsing Family and what we do. They take every opportunity that they can to spy on us and your little display with the soldiers and Alucard would have gotten there attention. They would have in turn attempted to follow us to see if they could get any information on you," said Integra, "I do not know what they are totally capable of and did not want to risk revealing anything to important to them in case they were listening."

"Oh I see… uhhh Aunty could you stop staring at me like that it is making me nervous," said a fidgeting Ranma.

Integra blinked and realized she was using her commander stare she uses to make people agree with her, i.e bend to her will. "Sorry Ranma, force of habit," said Integra, "Now that that matter is out of the way we can discuss your place here with the Hellsing organization. Even with your extraordinary abilities you are going to have to go through basic training if for nothing else to familiarize yourself with our tactics and the enemy that we are fighting."

"I understand Auntie and I hope to make you proud of me and to bring honor to the Hellsing family," said Ranma.

Integra could not help but smile at that "Ranma, you have passed my wildest dreams of how you could have turned out and now you wish to join Hellsing knowing the risk," stated Integra slowing getting out of her chair and walking towards Ranama "I could not be more proud of you Ranma." When she had finished the statement Integra pulled Ranma into a hug.

"Aunty," said a misty eyed Ranma.

Of course at that moment Walter came in with some tea for Lady Integra and her nephew. He saw Integra hugging Ranma. Walter knew his Lady loved her nephew and was not nearly as cold as she played herself to be but the sudden change in her usually cool demeanor shocked him. The shock caused him to trip and send one of the tea cups flying over Ranma and Integra bounced off a wall (don't ask it Ranma) and hit a glass of water on Integra's desk and splashed Ranma somehow totally missing Integra (again don't ask) turning Ranma into Ranma-chan.

"Now this is interesting," Guess who just materialized into the room with an evil smirk.

There was a moment of complete silence. Walter was staring in shock at the boy turned girl, Integra was wondering how that water had missed her completely, Alucard smirked and had the look of a child, an evil demonic child who drank blood, who just won a life time of free ice-cream, and Ranma-chan was waiting for the fallout.

"Well, well, well it seems you are full of surprises human," said Alucard," I didn't think that anyone in this day and age would be stupid enough to go to Jusenkyo let alone get cursed there."

Integra felt Ranma-chan stiffen in her arms and decided to diffuse the situation before it got out of control and ruin her office.

"That is enough Alucard," said Integra, "As of today Ranma will be joining Hellsing."

"I see, well I'm sure that it will be… entertaining working with you," said Alucard has he faded into the shadows.

"Sigh…. Ranma it's late and we have all had a very trying night. How about we continue in the morning," said Integra stepping away form Ranma-chan.

"O.K Aunty I'll see you in the morning," said Ranma-chan. As she turned to leave the room Ranam grabbed one of the tea cups form Walters tray and splashed a little on herself turning him back to his male form, "Sleep well."

"How long do you think it will be for him to realize that we have not shown him to his room yet," said Integra turning slightly to Walter with a small smile on her lips.

After saying this Ranma poked his head around the door with an embarrassed grin on his face. "Uhh could you please show me to my room haha," said a blushing Ranma.

"Of course Ranma, we have a room ready for you," said Integra, "It is just down the hall from my room."

"Thank you Aunt Integra this really means so much to me," said Ranma feel the weight of the situation suddenly catching up to him.

"Walter I'll take Ranma to his room," said Integra stepping pass Walter into the hall with Ranma, "Oh and I'll be having breakfast with him tomorrow so prepare enough for…," Integra looked to Ranma for the answer.

"…Five people." Finished Ranma beaming at his Aunt.

"Are we expecting more guests," asked Walter a little rattled after all the night's events.

"No its just that I hope to start training sometime tomorrow and anything other than a light breakfast will slow me down," said Ranma as he walked down the hall with Integra who was laughing at a joke Ranma told.

Walter, the Angel of Death, finally had one to many shocks to his system that night and fainted. He could take on blood thirsty vampires, soulless undead, the blackest magic's, and even demons from the deepest pits of hell but this was just strange and creepy seeing Integra acting like this and that boy Ranma was just plain strange, ahh the joys of working for the Hellsing family.

After a few minutes of walking Ranma and Integra arrived at Ranma's new room. "Here we are Ranma," said Integra gesturing to the door next to them, "My door is down there if you need me or just to talk."

"Thanks Aunty sleep well," said Ranma pulling Integra into a hug.

"Sleep well Ranma. I will see you in the morning," said Integra pulling away from Ranma and heading for her room.

Ranma watched her go and when she had gone he sighed and opened the door. BLAM. SPLASH. BANG. When Ranma opened the door three things happened suddenly. One a gun shoot was fired into Ranma's chest, two a bucket of water was dumped on him turning him into a her, and three a small amount of confetti was blown onto Ranma and a sign unrolled saying "Welcome to Hellsing" in red ink… or at least it looked like red ink.

Hearing the shoot Integra comes running out of her room, gun at the ready, to find a female Ranma slowly getting up from a puddle of blood and water.

"What happened" asked Integra helping Ranma get up and checking for any major injuries… besides the gunshot wound. Ranma just points to the sign hanging in front of his door. "Alucard…" said Integra in a voice that promised death.

"You called," said Alucard stepping form the shadows.

"Did you do this," asked Integra pointing to the sign and glaring at the Unlife King.

"Why yes I did," said Alucard smirking at the two women, "You said that young Ranma here would be joining Hellsing. All I am trying to do is prepare him for field work." Alucard gestured to the door.

"And how pray tell, dose booby trapping his door do that," said Integra slowly building up her anger and more importantly slowly raising her gun.

"I am only trying to teach him to expect the unexpected and be ready for anything," replied Alucard in an innocent, like he could be innocent, voice. He didn't seemed at all concerned about the gun being pointed at him.

"Then why did you fell the need to splash Ranma with water," shouted Integra finally having enough of the demented vampire after the emotional night.

"Because I could. Plus it was amusing to watch," said Alucard sinking into the shadows his crazed grin never leaving his face.

"ALUCARD," shouted Integra firing a shot at the floor the vampire had occupied a second ago. Insane laughter was the only thing that answered he yell.

"What happened," shouted Walter as he ran down the corridor. Along with a group of guards who had been drawn by the shouting and gun shots.

"Walter I want orders given to the men to shoot Alucard on sight when he is not on a mission," said Integra putting her gun away and slowing regain control of herself.

Seeing the look in Integra's eyes Walter decided not to ask questions, "Understood," and turned around and headed back down the corridor he came down dragging the guards that had come with him.

"Ranma are you o.k.," asked Integra calming down slightly seeing Ranma get up appearing no worst for the wear.

"Yes I'm fine," said Ranma glaring at the spot Alucard had sunk into "Man that is two shirts ruined in one night." Suddenly looking at his shirt.

"I'm sorry Ranma but no matter how much I would like to kill Alucard at times he is still needed in this organization," said Integra glaring again at the spot Alucard had faded into.

"Don't worry about it Aunty," said Ranma, "I'll just have to be on my guard. Besides he can't kill me or do any permanent damage right?" Looking at his Aunt hopefully.

"Your right Ranma he can't kill you or do any permanent damage to you because you are a Hellsing but sense you are a distant blood relative it appears he can to some things to you," said Integra pulling him into a hug to say that even though he was a distant blood relative he was important to her. "I am afraid that I do not have complete control over him and he seems very much set on "playing" with you."

"Thanks Aunty don't worry I can take anything he can dish out. Yawwwnnn… Sorry I'm really tired and would like to get to bed. It's been a long night," said Ranma suddenly struck by the fact he had not slept in two days.

"Alright Ranma see you in the morning," said Integra giving Ranma a final squeeze before she headed for her room.

Ranma tore down the "Welcome" sign and stepped into his new room. It was a large room with a king sized bed and various other furnishing plus a bathroom. Ranma was too tired to care about the furnishings at that point. The adrenaline had finally worn off and the last couple days events were hitting him hard. He walked over to the bed and just fell into it… right into the concealed spike on the bed.

"Ow," said Ranma tiredly not even caring a spike just when through his chest. Ranma just rolled over off the spike and on to the spike on the other side of the bed. (Alucard doesn't know what side of the bed Ranma sleeps on so he decided to be thorough) "God damn it," Ranma just rolled onto the floor with a pillow and fell asleep.

The next morning Integra got up and was truly happy for the first time in what seemed like years. Her nephew was here and he accepted what she did and wanted to help uphold the Hellsing family honor. She could not have been more proud of him even though she was worried for him. The fact that h e was not even truly a member of Hellsing and had aready been shot, stabbed, and put death would tend to worry anyone. Integra got dressed in here usually uniform and headed for Ranma's new room to wake him up and take him to breakfast. What she found was Ranma laying on the floor with two holes in his shirt and two bloody spikes on the bed. After seeing that he was breathing and in fact muttering about "Baka Vampires" she calmed down for a second walked out of the room closed the door and screamed "ALUCARD".

Author's notes: Well another chapter down and I have joined the few stories (when compared to the over all number of stories) that have over a hundred reviews W00T. Anyway sorry about the delay in update but writers block is a bitch. This was the kind of writer's block where your brain goes numb form even looking at a story but I am better now and hope to start updating more regularly. Oh an important side note there will be a much higher magic influence in this fic than there was in Hellsing and Ranma.

IMPORTANT NOTE

I'm taking a vote. Do you the readers want me to actually write out basic training for Ranma and his misadventures or skip ahead a little to get into the story and do some of the better parts of the training in flashbacks. Up to You Vote Now.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I own nothing blah blah same old same old.

Memories of Boot Camp

The night air was cold. The stars shone in the night sky like ice crystals frozen in the sky and an unearthly quiet hung over the world. The dark forest was swallowed by fog and mist and had an almost mystical quality about it.

Ranma was crouched behind a fallen tree his gun pulled to his chest to make sure that none its metal surfaces gleamed in the night. The forest around him was silent but that didn't matter. They were out there. He knew they were. Suddenly he heard a twig snap in the distance followed by muttered cursing. If it had been anyone other than him it would have not been heard but the enemy knew he could hear even the faintest sounds at a distance and now they were going to regret it.

Quickly Ranma sprang form his hiding place and silently headed for the noise he had heard in the distance. He was extra careful to be on alert incase that this was som kind of trap. He had already dispatched the other three enemy groups in the area. This was the last one left and the only think keeping him away form victory. Ranma quickly found them. There were five of them fully armed and ready to fire at anything that moved if he judged there postures right.

'Hehe by the time that I move it will be to late for them, the poor souls… I love my job,' thought Ranma grinning as he took careful aim with his gun.

The sound of the shoot was the last thing one of the five heard as the round slammed into his helmet splattering red everywhere. Taking the man down in an instant. The others turn to fire at the source of the shot but it was too late. Ranma was among them firing shots at point blank range into there vital areas dropping each of them with a single shot. No quarter was asked and none would be given even if they did ask. They were mercilessly cut down like the dogs they were it was over in under a minute. Ranma surveyed the battle field and the now red soaked forest floor and came to his conclusion.

"Good job boys and girls, you are dead, how do you feel," said Ranma to the "corpses".

"God damn it, every god damn time we run this drill we end up dead, and if you shoot me one more time in the balls Ranma I swear I will fucking kill you," shouted one of the solider who he had shot in the "Vitals".

"That's Captain Ranma, Private Stevens, and if you learned something and payed attention I would not have to shoot you there," said a smirking Ranma as he shouldered his paintball gun. The newly commissioned soldiers of Hellsing slowly rose to there feet covered in red paint on various parts of there bodies.

Ranma clicked on his com and said," Sergeant could you gather up the rest of the corpses and come pick us up."

"You got it Captain," answered a female voice that could give you cavities with its sweetness.

Ranma shuddered no matter how long he hear that voice its cute sweetness still managed to sent him into mild diabetic shock. He still could not believe that a girl like that could be on of the most effective soldiers that Hellsing ever had.

"All right boys and girls you are all getting better and are almost ready to go out into the field," said Ranma looking at his troops.

"I still don't see why you make us train like this. Hell half us were in our countries top military outfits and you talk to us as if we are green recruits," said Private Stevens waving his hand at the people in the clearing.

"Because you are soldier. You would have realized this by now if you had been training with Alucard or Walter but because I'm 18 you think I don't know what I'm talking about," said Ranma glaring at Stevens. He had known that something like this would happen eventually and he was going to see to it this never happened again.

"Well the only reason that you are even in command is that you are the son of Lady Integra," said Stevens glaring right back at Ranma.

At that moment two trucks pulled up. The rest of the troops had arrived. A small woman got out of the passenger seat of the leading car. She stood only 4'11 in height and if only one word could be used to describe her it was CUTE not cute or _cute _but CUTE the woman radiated it like it was a force on to itself. She wore the standard Hellsing grey with a bright pink bow to tie her hair that was not covered by her helmet.

"Now what seems to be the problem here," said the woman staring innocently at the paint covered clearing and the people occupying it.

"I'm having some disciple problem with Private Stevens here," said Ranma turning to address the woman.

"Fuck you _Captain_ I'm tried of you and your bull shit. I severed in the Navy Seals for four fucking years and I am not going to be talked down to by some punk kid who thinks he knows how to fight," shouted a by now raging Private Stevens.

"That is no way to talk to your commanding officer," gasped the woman her hand over her mouth in shock.

"No Megan I got this. I plan to talk to Stevens here and explain some things," said Ranma waving off Megan. Turning to face Stevens again.

"That's Pretty Angel Megan," said the woman now know as Pretty Angel Megan as she and the rest of the troops formed a ring around the two "combatants".

"_Sigh_…" 'Why do I attract crazy people,' " All right Stevens you think that I am some ignorant punk that only got this command because of my Mother correct?" asked Ranma giving the solider in front of him his full attention.

"Damn right, I admit that you have some talent with a gun and fighting but that shit dose not make you good enough to command a squad of experienced soldiers into combat," said Stevens realizing what could happen to him in this situation got out of control.

"I see Private Stevens. You make a valid point if this was a normal group of soldiers fighting a normal enemy. However you and the enemy are not normal," said Ranma gesturing to the gathered soldiers, "You are a soldier of Hellsing and you will not be fighting a normal enemy and you are not normal soldiers."

"That's all well and good Captain but how dose that give you any right to command us," said Steven motioning to himself and the soldiers around them.

"Well Private you and the rest of you have no experience fighting the strange and paranormal, while I do," said Ranma, "Beyond that there is the fact that I am the league of Alucard and Sir Walter and you all are my support and backup on missions."

"Wait one second your telling me that you are a Knight (Don't know what Alucard and Walters class of people were called in Hellsing but form now on in this fic they will be referred to as Knights) excuse me sir but you have some extra ordinary abilities but you are not a Knight," said Stevens looking at Ranma in disbelief.

Ranma's classic corky grin appeared on his face "Sorry to burst your bubble Stevens but I am and the reason that you and the others were not told was because it was hoped that you would come to see me as your commander and get used to me before I was force to tell all of you," Said Ranma. Sighing sadly Ranma continued, "But seeing how that has not happened with some of you I need to give you a reason to obey me as your commander."

Seeing the still disbelieving look on Stevens face and the rest of the men and women around him Ranma decided to prove his point. " Private take this side arm" making what looked like a real gun appear form what seemed to be no where. Stevens reached out took the gun and checked it and found that it was real and used real bullets.

The moment Stevens realized the gun was real he knew what was coming he had seen a lot of movies and suddenly realized that what was happing was a lot similar to some scenes in some movies, "Sir do you want me to shoot you in the head sir," said a nervous Stevens.

"No that would be stupid Stevens why the hell would I want you to shoot me in the head," said Ranma.

"Oh good," said a relived Stevens.

"I want you to _attempt_ to shoot me in the head," said Ranma his grin becoming wider at the mans discomfort.

"No sir I wouldn't attempt to shot you in the head," said Stevens relishing this was way to close to all the movies he had seen as a kid and that if he did Lady Integra would kill him, "I see, well then… Pretty Angel Meagan would you be so kind as to attempt to shoot me," said Ranma turning to his second in command.

"No sir I could never shoot you, that would not be ni…" said Megan before she was interrupted by Ranma," Pink sucks, Stuffed animals are stupid, and Hello Kitty needs to die," said Ranma.

The silence after that statement was total until… "DIE YOU COCK SUCKER," Shouted Megan pulling a shotgun form… somewhere and began to unload it at Ranma while shouting various… not nice things at the top of her lungs at Ranma.

The soldiers surrounding Ranma all began to run and duck for cover as there second in command began firing and seeing her pulled out a grenade many ran and ducked even faster.

"Who the fuck gave her explosives," one soldier shouted taking cover behind a tree.

"I don't know I though that we decided that she wasn't allowed to have any," Yelled another soldier in response turning to the demolitionist of the troop.

"What was I supposed to do she asked me with that uber cute super sweet voice," answered the man ducking behind a rock ans an explosion rocked the area.

"So what," said the first soldier cringing as a jet a flame leap up beside the tree form on of the explosions.

"She had a shotgun pointed at my wedding tackle" said the demolitionist flinching at the memory of her asking politely for high power bombs while having a gun pointed at his crotch.

While the soldiers all ducked for cover Ranma was busying dodging the bombs, gun shoots, curses, exploding stuff animals, hair spray laced with poison, etc…

"Ok Meagan that's enough I think they get the message now," said Ranma dodging another explosion.

"THAT'S PRETTY ANGLE MEGAN NOW HOLD STILL AND DIE," yelled Pretty Angel Megan pulling out a Pink Bazooka with a picture of Hello Kitty on the side.

Ranma was in midair form dodging the explosion and was off balance from the force of the explosion so there was no way that he could dodge. The soldiers, the ones conscious and the ones not praying to god, all watched in horror as a rocket with a heart on the front of it slammed into their commander. BOOM. The body of Ranma was thrown back and slammed into a tree.

"Oh my god you killed the commander," shouted a soldier.

"You Bastard," shouted another after getting some looks form his fellows hiding near him, "What someone had to say it."

"HE INSULTED HELLO KITTY HE MUST PAY," shouted the enraged Sergeant stomping towards in crater where Ranma's body had landed.

"Quick get the counter-measure form the truck," shouted a soldier who seemed to still have some rational though left.

Three of the soldiers bolted for the trucks as the Sergeant marched for the body of the fallen commander. They made it back carrying a bag. The soldiers reached in the bag and pulled out a tranquilizer gun and fired it at Megan knocking her out in seconds.

"That's odd," said the soldier with the tranquilizer gun.

"What is," asked the soldier next to him who was pulling out another tranquilizer and handing it to the other soldier to reload the gun.

"Well I don't know I though that the counter-measure would be a cute stuffed animal or candy or such," said the soldier loading the gun and firing another round into Megan to be safe.

"This is real life man. Not a movie. That kind of stuff dose not work here. Besides if it was a cute stuffed animal and we threw it at her she'd shoot us for endangering the fluffy thing," said the soldier the soldier holding the bag.

"Guys dose anyone care that she just shot our commander with an anti-tank weapon," said one of the women hiding behind a clump of dirt.

"That is a good question why dose no one care that I was shot with a pink bazooka," said the "dead" Captain Ranma.

"AHHHH THE COMMANDER IS A ZOMBIE QUICK KILL HIM," shouted a soldier who was hiding near where Ranma was getting up.

The soldiers to a man/woman already badly shaken opened fire into the area where Ranma lay. Once the roar of the shots had finally stopped a paint covered Ranma slowly got up.

"You all do realize that you have paint ball guns and not real weapons right and that if I was really a zombie that I could not talk and more importantly would not even have a body capable of moving after getting hit with a rocket," said an irritated Ranma wiping paint out of his eyes.

"Then how the hell are you alive," asked a female soldier pulling her combat knife.

"I'm a Knight capable of Super Human feats that are needed to fight the paranormal and strange," said Ranma smirking at the soldiers.

"Now load up people we are late for Dinner and I for one do not want to eat cold camp rations," ordered Ranma activating the soul of ice in a limited form around him to freeze off the paint that now covered. Sounding to all the world like he was fine and not just hit with a rocket that could have stopped an armored vehicle. Once he was piant free and done scaring the soldiers more he moved towards Megan to pick her up.

By the time that Ranma was getting into the trucks the soldier shook out of the stupors grabbed there gear and ran for the trucks. They were all looking around nervously. What had just happed was to strange.

"Now you see what I am talking about. You all just encountered a situation beyond your scope of comprehension and you are all on pins and needles," said Ranma getting into the front of one of the trucks.

"Well yeah you just raised form what looked like the dead and the Sergeant turns out to be a killing machine who can pull weapons form nowhere," answered Private Stevens shakily getting into his own vehicle.

"And that is the reason while I am in charge of you men. I have dealt with this kind of wired stuff for years and I know how to react and what to do," said Ranma, "Add to that my other abilities and knowing what I can do and cant I can better tell you men what to do in combat that the mission is accomplished."

There was silence on the way to the camp each man and women thinking on what had just heard and what they had just seen. While the soldiers began to question their sanity Ranma was wondering what was happening with his new Mother and remembering the events that led him to where he was now, holding an unconscious women in his lap while she sucked on her thumb and cuddled a shotgun…

(That's Right Flash Back time)

Ranma was getting used to live at his new home. For the last week he and spent time with his Aunt now his adopted Mother 'It feels so good to call her that,' getting to know one another in person, talking of past times, and planning for the future. But as the saying goes for every bright spot there is a malicious blood sucking evil son for a bitch trying to slowly drive you mad and torture your every waking moment… Or something like that. Unless he could actually see his Mother or she could see him he was open game for Alucard as he had quickly learned.

The pranks that hit him ranged form gun fire to various portions on his body at various times but always with a sick twist of humor, poisons once Alucard figured out that he was immune to most normal ones 'One of the few benefits of eating Akane's cooking', explosives, but the worst ones were Alucard just wanted to mess with his mind. Body damage he was used to but Alucard was an ancient evil genius who probably invented the evil laugh.

The funny part of it all was the more complex the plan on Alucard's part no matter how full prove the less likely it was to work on Ranma. Plans that would have driven normal mortals mad with there complex nature and sophistication fell apart when faced with the chaos that was Ranma.

Ranma gave as good as he got though. This was a war and Ranma's mind was a combat computer all that was needed was it to reconfigure to a new theater of combat. For ever scheme that Alucard came up with Ranma countered with a plan of his own. The halls of the Hellsing manor would never be the same again after these two titans clashed. Alucard summoning demon cats into his room was meet with Alucards chambers being covered in pink paint, stuffed, animals (Mostly Megan's who repeatedly shoot Alucard for trying to "Steal" them), and various other objects that caused Alucard more pain than any gun shot wounds. Spring loaded mini guns in his locker was in turned countered with Ranma trapping Alucard in his coffin and blaring evangelism into there for 6 hours strait.(I will later make a side story for the various evils that were committed in the prank war but for now I want to move the plot along).

Ranma shuddered in his seat remembering his on going war with Alucard and thanked his new Mother that she had temporally stop the fight by sending him out to train his troops in the field. Feeling him shudder Megan shifted in his lap and he looked down at her and remembered meeting her and the rest of his troops.

"You called Mother," said Ranma as he walked into Integra's office.

"Yes Ranma I did. You have almost completed your basic training and I believe that you are almost ready for field work," said Integra smiling at her new son.

"Really no more classes and basic training," said Ranma bursting into a victory dance at the news.

"Was it really that bad," asked Integra after seeing Ranma's mood after being told the news?

"You try dealing with classes and training _and_ having a sadistic vampire trying to drive you insane and see how happy you would be after hearing that its over and no more being shoot in class if I don't pay attention or sleep," said Ranma crossing his arms over his chest and looking embarrassed.

"Ahhh yes you were having trouble focusing in classes due to Alucard's constant games," said Integra frowning slightly.

"Yeah. Constantly having to regenerate takes a lot of energy and I cant really sleep soundly at nights with him out there," said Ranma looking behind him in habit to make sure nothing was there.

"Yes and you took time in your classes to catch on that lost sleep," said Integra giving Ranma a pointed look.

"Well yes I know more about paranormal and demons form real life experience than the teachers," said Ranma nervously as his Mother stared at him.

"Yes Ranma that might be true but you can always learn something new, anyway one day you were sleeping in class and Alucard attacked right," said Integra beginning to grin. She found this story endlessly amusing..

"Yea," said Ranma looking more embarrassed.

"And Alucard shoot you and you got up and the teacher called your attention," said Integra the grin was even larger now.

"Yes," Answered Ranma seeming to grow more agitated.

"And she had a gun in her hand and his exact words were I believe "Private if the caliber of your work in this class dose not improve then the caliber of this gun will," and she shoot you," said Integra laughing a bit at her son's expense.

"Yes…. (mutter)," said Ranma looking at the floor horribly embarrassed by this story.

"What was that Ranma," said a now giggling Integra having heard what he said.

"Its not my fault that crazy women could not understand that in a war some things have to be sacrifices and that her class was not needed in my war with Alucard," said Ranma huffing.

"Ranma I don't know what power you have over the opposite sex is but you can make them react to you in the strangest ways to you and your presence," said Integra remembering the various incidents involving Ranma and the female members of Hellsing. "But we are not here to discuss that I was going to tell you that has of today I am making you a Knight and will be assigning troops to act as your backup," said Integra suddenly becoming serious.

"Really you think that I'm ready for that," said Ranma shocked at the news.

"Yes I do Ranma but normally I would have you wait till you had become more experienced with Hellsing until I gave you this command," said Integra.

"Then why are you giving me the command now," asked a confused Ranma?

"The truth of the matter is Ranma is that the activity of FREAKS and other paranormal phenomena are increasing and Alucard can't handle it all and Walter is needed here to over see the house and troops so we need another Knight in the field," said Integra sadly.

"Oh…," said a disappointed Ranma.

"Now Ranma what I said earlier was true though. I do believe that you are ready it's just with this sudden command the men will think that you are receiving this because I adopted you has my son," said Integra getting up form behind her desk to comfort Ranma.

"I know Mom but I want to earn my rank and the respect of the soldiers of Hellsing," said Ranma hugging her back.

"Yes Ranma that is a worthy goal but as you said in war there must be sacrifices and at the moment I need you in the field soon to help protect the innocent," said Integra drawing Ranma closer.

"I know Mom and I will make you proud of me," said Ranma breaking free from her grasp and staring into her eyes.

"I could not be prouder of you," said Integra. "Now then Ranma your second in command will be Megan Brightwater she is a bit… eccentric."

"How so," asked a nervous Ranma. Eccentric woman tended to cause a lot of trouble for him.

"Well I'm afraid that she is a bit obsessed with cute," said Integra headind back for her desk to pick up some papers.

"What," said Ranma the image of a certain air headed skater coming to his mind.

"Well she is one of the most competent officers Hellsing has ever had and her combat skills are top notch it's just that she is obsessed with cute things and if you insult those things she has a tendency to be violent," said Integra suffling papers are her desk so she would not have to look at Ranma as she told him.

"And how did someone like that become an officer I can understand some of our soldiers considering that stuff they have to deal with but an officer," said Ranma with a disbelieving look on his face.

"I can understand your confusion Ranma but beyond her little… quirks she is an excellent office that can get a job done," said Integra finally turning to face him.

"OK sure but how can the men follow someone who collects stuffed animals and goes AWWWWWW every three seconds if she sees something shiny," asked Ranma?

"It's not that bad Ranma in a battle situation she has the focus of a laser she is extremely talented and I know she will be an asset to your team," said Integra.

"No one wanted her on there squad and you are sticking her with me because you think that I will be able to tolerate her right," deadpanned Ranma.

"Well yes there is that and I want grandchildren to spoil," exclaimed Integra," she is a very pretty girl."

Ranma froze, his combat computer of a brain suddenly had the Blue screen of death and life has he knew it came to an end.

"I think that you broke him," said Walter as he walked into the room carrying some tea.

"Hehehe oh that was priceless I couldn't help myself," said Integra giggling as she took her cup.

"You know that if the men ever saw you like this they would think that the world is coming to an end," said Walter has he began to pour the tea.

"Yes I know that but it is so wonderful to have Ranma here and he will do so much for Hellsing, I could not be happier," said Integra taking the tea.

"Its good to see you like this Lady Integra," said Walter smiling at his commander.

"Thank you Walter that means a lot to me but I think that we need to fix Ranma before he is stuck like that," said Integra taking some water form her desk and tossing a little onto Ranma.

"The world is broken I want off," said a now female Ranma has she came to.

"Not now Ranma we need to go and meet your new second in command and your soldiers," said Integra getting up form her desk and handing the last of her tea to Ranma.

"What now," asked Ranma has he poured the tea on his head and handed the cup to Walter and followed Integra out the door?

"Yes now. In these kind of situations the course of actions is direct one," said Integra as she walked into a auditorium that was located in the Manor.

"Attention," shouted a voice as the pair walked into the room.

Ranma felt the eyes of the room upon him as he and his Mother walked up to the platform.

"Ladies and Gentlemen I am here today to announce that all of you in this room will be forming a new battle group in the Hellsing Organization," said Integra her voice carrying across the room.

After the announcement the room was alive with excited whispers and men and women talking about the news.

"Silence please, now the second in command of this new task force is Megan Brightwater," said Integra motioning to a woman that was sitting in the front row. The women wore a standard Hellsing uniform and had the appearance and demeanor of a women who new what she was doing and was in complete control. There was scattered clapping at the announcement but mainly there were frightened whispers among the soldiers.

"Silence, now your commander will be Ranma Hellsing he will be in direct command of this task force and answer only to me is that understood," said Integra slowly looking around the room letting her words sink in. Then she stepped back and let Ranma speak.

"Ummmm Hello I'm Ranma Hellsing and I will the commander of this force and I hope that I will be able to meet your expectations and do the Hellsing organization proud," said Ranma nervously scratching his head.

There was total silence after Ranma took the stage the men and women in the room all were looking at the stage in disbelief not believing that there commander was the son of Integra Windgate Hellsing. They could not believe that their commander would ever do such a thing as promote a family member over a "real" soldier. The silence getting to him Ranma stepped back and gave the stage to his Mother.

"Alright then your final training will begin tomorrow at dawn meet on the firing range good luck," said Integra. After saying that Integra turned around and walked out of the room motioning Megan and Ranma to follow her to her office. Once they reached her office Integra set behind her desk and spoke. "That went better than I expected."

"You have got to be kidding me they have to be back there right now spreading all kinds of rumors," said an exasperated Ranma.

"So, that dose not matter they did not question your appointment as an officer in front of me then they will obey your orders" said Integra matter o factly.

"I agree with Lady Integra sir they will follow your orders to the letter if for nothing else then for the reputation of Hellsing and Lady Integra," said Megan speaking for the first time her voice was commanding and confident.

"Well thanks for the ego boost there Ms. Brightwater to tell the truth you are not what I was expecting," said Ranma turning to her. She was a small women with a very athletic frame. She had a heart shaped face and chestnut brown hair. She reminded him a lot of Ukyou.

"I get that a lot sir there are a lot of rumors about me sir," said Megan turning to him.

"Oh really so none of them are true right," said Ranma hoping that for once in his life he would meet a women that was not strange in some way, he loved his new mother but she did command an ancient evil vampire and command a organization whose mission was the keep the world save form demons, undead, and the occult.

"No sir some of them are true," said Megan.

"ohhhh," said Ranma all hopes of an easy command dashed.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you two but you can discuss this somewhere else and not in my office I do have things I need to do," said Integra in her commander voice but with a smirk on her face,

"Yes Mom, I mean Sir, I mean Mam," said Ranma completely off guard and with a hasty salute he and Megan walked out of the office. Has they walked out of the room and down the hall Megan turned too Ranma.

"Sir is it alright if we stop by my quarters so I can change and pick up the material that Lady Integra sent to me on the our troops. Then we can discuss training the men and there backgrounds," said Megan already turning down a corridor in what Ranma assumed was the direction of her room.

"Ok sure wait up," said Ranma has he race to catch up with Megan.

As Ranma waited for Megan in the hallway he wonder what his future would hold, what his new position would be like, and most importantly what the hell was taking Megan so long. 'Dear lord woman hurry up,' though Ranma has he waited nervously in the hallway wait for Megan and the eventual attack of Alucard.

"Ok boss lets go," said Megan as she walked out of her room in a pink version of her former uniform.

After seeing her Ranma fell down form shock and form the high powered Rifle bullet hitting him in the chest.

Yes he would never have a normal life Ranma though. A second in command that when form GI Jane to a host on a kids show and had violent tendencies. Not to mention all the other nut jobs and weirdoes that he had under his command. Ranma's musings were cut short though has their trucks finally made it back to camp.

Ranma and the rest of the troops were unloading form the trucks when one of the communication personnel came running up and shouting.

"Commander HQ is under attack by an unknown force. The enemy have breached the main compound," shouted the out of breath soldier.

"What the hell, Ok prepare for battle this is not a drill HQ is under attack by an Unknown aggressor," Shouted Ranma dropping Megan so wake her up.

"Huh whatz going on," said a dazed Megan has she hit the ground.

"Sergeant prepare the men for combat the HQ is under attack this is not a drill," ordered Ranma has he moved towards the communication center.

"SIR YES SIR ALL RIGHT SOLDIERS I WANT TO YOU TO BE COMBAT READY FIVE MINUTES AGO MOVE IT MOVE IT," shouted Megan at the top of her lungs had she went for cute to command.

Authors Notes: Ok guys I'm back. Sorry for spacing out there for a time but a lot of stuff happened in that time. I lost my job found a new one and various other things but the main reason that I have not updated in such a long time is WOW. My friends all started to play World of Warcraft a couple months back and they finally got me to play too. I remember those months has a blur of Alliance killing and quests but I'm better now I still like the game but I'm not obsessed anymore so expect more updates soon. Any feed back or ideas for the future would be great. Flashbacks won so boot camp and all the fun had in there will be displayed in various flashbacks.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I AM ALIVE, however sadly I still own none of the anime characters involved in this fic.

Home Again

"What's the status of the men," asked Ranma? Ranma was wearing black silk pants, a grey silk muscles shirt, and a black leather trench coat with the Hellsing crest emblazed on the back. His hair was in a ponytail hanging straight down his back you could barley make out the reflection of light from metal within the weave of his hair.

"I'm afraid that only about a third of the men are ready sir. We did not have enough actual battle equipment on this training mission to equip everyone," said Megan walking beside Ranma as the two headed for an armored transport. She was wearing the standard Hellsing uniform with the exception of a small pink ribbon in her hair holding it in place.

"I see. That will have to do, the remaining men can break the camp and be prepared for further orders," said Ranma has he got into the transport, "You will remain here with these men and be prepared to move. I will take the ready troops and proceed to the Manor is that understood." Turning back to look at his second in command.

"Yes sir," said Megan giving a shape salute.

"Right then, MOVE OUT," yelled Ranma has the transport he was in and one other begin to move.

"How long till we reach the Manor, Private Miller," asked Ranma as he moved to the front of the transport.

"Twenty Minutes sir," responded Miller, Private James Miller Ex. U.S military formality a transport specialist in the marines. He stands 5.4 feet with black hair the color of soot. No one can tell you his real eye color because his ever present goggles, which change color depending on the day of the week. When not on duty he is tinkering with anything that he can make go over 50 miles an hour.

"Make it ten and I will forget the time I caught you trying to install nitro onto this vehicle," said Ranma looking down at Miller.

"Hehe come on sir it would have improved the combat time and movement speeds by at least 40 percent," replied Miller grinning nervously.

"Yes and it would have made this thing explode if someone so much as lithe a match near it," said Ranma glaring down at Miller.

"Sorry sir cant talk trying to break the laws of physics and get us to the Manor in ten minutes," said Miller as he began to flip a number of switches that normally would not have been on a standard transport.

Ranma actually looked at the console of the transport and realized something very important. He only ever caught Private Miller once and there were way too many big red buttons on the front panel to mean anything good. "Boyz strap in and pray to whatever higher power that you believe in. Things are about to get lively," shouted Ranma as he strapped himself into the nearest empty seats fast as he could when he heard Miller begin to sing "Highway to the Danger Zone" under his breath.

"But sir I don't believe in any of that higher power BS," shouted one of the soldiers in the back.

"Then pray that your right or that one of those higher power things believes in you because I think Private Miller is about ready," shouted Ranma over the roar of the engines…. Wait Engines?

"HIGH HOE SILVER AWAY," yelled an excited Private Miller as he hit the gas.

Ten minutes later and with many shouts of "MOVE IT GRANDMA", "HEY IF AMERICA CAN DRIVE ON THIS SIDE THEN SO CAN I ", "THAT WILL BUFF RIGHT OUT", and the classic "I CANT BELIEVE I MISSED THAT COW" the soldiers of Hellsing reached HQ.

"Private Miller," said Ranma slowly getting up trying to throw of the vertigo he somehow got while on the way here.

"Yes Sir," responded Miller as he turned to look at his commander.

"This vehicle was not meant to go reverse at 90 miles an hour," said Ranma trying to clam down a bit, not pummel the man in front of him, and get ready for combat.

"I know Sir that is why I fixed that design flaw," answered Miller smiling.

"Right Miller. We are goin' to have a LONG talk about this later.," said Ranma stepping out of the vehicle. "Surround HQ. I don't want whatever is in there escaping."

Not bothering to look back Ranma began to walk for the Manor. Jumping over the bus blocking the entrance to the compound Ranma saw what was attacking. All around the yard ghouls in blank armor were fighting the few remaining Hellsing soldiers. Ranma could see the fighting going on inside.

"How dare you," growled Ranma, "HOW DARE YOU ATTACK THE HELLSING FAMILY" Ranma leapt from the top of the bus and rushed towards the nearest ghouls on his way to the manor.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"We must leave now Lady Integra," said one of the men as they heard the insane vampire yell into the intercom.

"Do not worry gentlemen the true power of the Hellsing family has yet to be unleashed," answer Integra coolly not seeming to be fazed by the vampire's shouts and laughter or the protest of the men gathered in the room.

"You mean that pet vampire of yours," snapped another of the men.

"HOW DARE YOU ATTACK THE HELLSING FAMILY," the voice seemed to boom form everywhere penetrating the sound proof glass of the room's windows.

"No. Not the vampire," said Integra grinning.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"What the Fuck was that just now," exclaimed a dark skinned young man with fangs sitting in control room of the manor. "Yo Bro do you know what the Fuck that was?" Asked the man into a walkie talkie.

"No I don't and I don't really care I am hear for the Vampire that the Hellsing controls. You deal with what ever that was." Answered a another voice.

"Well Fuckin fine you take the easy job make me run around this fucking place and find all this fucking shit," complained the fanged one. "Whoever the fuck you are I am so goin' to fuck you up for thinking you can fuck with the Valentine Brothers," Said the man has he hopped off a desk he was sitting on and shouldered an assault rifle. As he left the room a number of ghouls followed him.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Ranma had finally made it into the manor. As he looked around the entry hall he saw the bodies of the fallen Hellsing soldiers littering the ground. Their wounds were a combination of small arms fire and ghoul attacks. It was a truly gruesome site. 'At least they died fighting,' thought Ranma grimly.

"I will avenge this injustice. No one attacks Hellsing and gets away with it," said Ranma in a low voice looking out of the carnage.

"Well look what we fuckin got here. Man, some punk ass kid think he can play all hero like and mess with the Valentine Brothers," said a voice form the top of the stairs.

Ranma turned to the voice. At the top of the stairs stood a dark skinned man with fangs grinning down at him, the man wore all black with a skull cap with a strange symbol on it. Around the man stood a number of ghouls in the same featureless armor as the ghouls outside.

"Did you do all of this," ask Ranma in a low voice motioning to the bodies of the Hellsing soldiers.

"Fuck yeah we did we fucaaaa…" The rest of the vampires rant was cut off as Ranma fired his pistols at the vampire hitting the vampire in the chest and leg and throwing him off his feet.

"Seeing" the attack the ghouls surrounding the vampire pointed there weapons at Ranma and opened fire. Ranma dived for cover behind some of the over turned furniture covering the room. Suddenly however the hail of gun fire stopped and Ranma peaked over his make shift bunker to see what was happening. He saw the vampire he had shot slowly getting up motioning to the ghouls to stop and the vampire was beginning to laugh.

"Hehehehehe, So some punk kid thinks he can take Jan Valentine. Well kid your royally fucked now because I am goin' to come down there and personally BEAT THE DOG SHIT OUT OF YOU" shouted Jan as he began to descend the stairs leading to the main area.

As soon as he finished his yell Jan was surprised by the sudden lack of weight were his arm used to be. After looking at his arm he turned to see that punk kid kneeling with both of his pistols aimed where his arm used to be and both barrels smoking.

"You should have run. Those first shots were just a warning," said Ranma slowly standing up face pointed at the ground.

Jan's suddenly realized something's really important as he stared at the guy in front of him. Number one the guy was suddenly way to pale, second the room was like 40 degrees cooler and ice was forming around the guy's feet, and finally the most important part when the kid looked up his eyes were solid blue and were glowing.

"NOW YOU DIE," said Ranma as his eyes made contacted with Jan's eyes.

"Ahhh fuck," said Jan. "KILL THAT MOTHER FUCKER," he yelled, waving his one good arm frantically, as he ran back up the stairs toward the ghouls.

As soon as Jan started his run Ranma was after him however he was quickly hampered by the fact there were armed ghouls firing fully automatic weapons at him, tends to slow a guy down/kill him. With a push Ranma soared over the distance between himself and the ghouls overlooking the main hall. Ranma was hit by a luck shot as he landed and stumbled. With his sudden drop in speed the ghouls quickly scored several more hits on Ranma spraying blood across the floor and walls surrounding Ranma. Watching from a good ways down the hall Jan spoke up.

"Haha, not so tough now are you. Fuckin-A I can't believe I even gave you the time of fucking day you are such a fucking…. No fucking way," said Jan looking dumbly at the scene of Ranma slowly getting back up and looking completely unharmed.

As he began to rise the ghouls once again turned to fire on him but this time thing were different. For one before even the first shot was fired Ranma was in the mist of the ghouls his fists glowing blue casing anything they touched to freeze. Next was the fact the ghouls were being torn to pieces and any shots that they managed to get of were either missing or hitting other ghouls. As the last ghoul turned to dust Ranma turned to Jan however this time Jan did not appear startled.

"What you think you are some kind of bad ass for taking out a couple of ghouls. Man, I could have done that in my fucking sleep. Besides that was just the start here is the fucking main course. AWWWOOOO," Jan pulled back his head and let lose a howl.

At first nothing happened but then Ranma noticed movement in the main hall and turned to see the fallen Hellsing soldiers start to rise.

"Deal with that bitch," said Jan has he smirked then suddenly turned around and ran down the hall laughing as ghouls rose around him.

"Ranma Hellsing dose not lose. More importantly he will not let people like you walk this EARTH," yelled Ranma after Jan suddenly running down the hall after Jan pulling a sword he hand "liberated" form that fruit loop Paladin and cutting the rising ghouls to pieces as he ran.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"Now please Ms. Victorian use the exploding rounds," said Walter as he stood next to a knelling Ceras Victoria.

Said women had what looked like an anti tank rifle pointed down the hall to the mass of ghouls slowly marching forward. Hesitating for a long moment realizing that with the enemy ghouls walked former Hellsing soldiers. After an internal struggle Ceras finally fire creating a hole in the ghouls ranks. However as Ceras was reaching back to pull out another shell for her gun a one armed man came running down the corridor through the hole she had just created.

"Kill that mother fucker," shouted the man as he ran past the startled Ceras and grinning Walter.

No sooner had the man finished speaking than another figure made itself known. The mass of ghouls in the hall suddenly lessened as a figure ran amongst them turning them to dust with what seemed like to Ceras like a glowing blue blade. A suddenly flash of intense cold and a dark image was all Ceras saw before the figure was past her.

"What was that," asked Ceras in a small voice turning to Walter.

"That Ms. Victoria, is the reason you should never anger a member of the Hellsing family," said Walter looking down the hall still grinning.

"What," said Ceras confused looking from the dead ghouls to the hallway the two people had just run down.

"Never mind there are still ghouls about. Let us see if we can fix that," said Walter turning his back on the retreating figures and heading down the hall past the carnage.

"But what about Lady Integra," asked Ceras has she ran after Walter's retreating form.

"Do not worry. I am sure Lady Integra is safe," assured Walter.

"But.." was all Ceras got out before Walter silenced her.

"Come now Ms. Victoria we still have four more shells to test and I am sure Sir Ranma did not leave us many targets to test them on," said Walter looking around for something worth shooting.

"Who..."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\\//\

The silence of the board room was suddenly broken as a one armed, dark skinned, one armed man burst through the door.

"I got you now Bit…" The rest of Jan's statement was cut off as a glowing fist burst though his chest. As the now frozen blood rained down on the shocked men in the room Integra slowing left her set and walked calmly over to the glowing figure that had just killed the vampire.

"Gentlemen may I introduce my son Ranma Hellsing," said Integra grinning.

The board could only stare in shocked horror…

Authors Notes: Been a while sense an update… yeah we're not going to talk about it. Anyway besides this chapter I have revamped the previous ones to be MUCH more readable ie grammar fixed somewhat. I don't know when I will be updating again but if I get enough positive feedback it will be sooner rather than later. Please review and I will answer any questions you have to the best of my limited ability.


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